Do You Have This Annoying Unattractive Habit?
Has your wife told you she’s no longer attracted to you?
Or has she complained about you being needy, whiny, unreliable or undecisive?
Do you ever convince yourself not to initiate intimacy because the fear of being rejected again is just too painful?
Do you ever feel like other men are more confident than you and get more sex?
I want to talk about being a WISHY-WASHY MAN.
They are more common than you think. I was one – and still am sometimes.
First, what does “wishy-washy” mean? Here are some of the words the dictionary uses to describe this trait:
Watery
Weak
Watered down
Thin
Tasteless
Flavorless
Feeble
Ineffectual
Spineless
Limp
Limp-wristed
Namby-pamby
Halfhearted
Spiritless
Indecisive
Wet
Pathetic
Weak-willed
Pale
Half-assed
In practical, every-day terms, the key traits of a wishy-washy man are:
- He is slow to answer questions and says “I don’t know” a LOT
- He feels sluggish in his mind and body and regrets not following through on things he wants
- He finds himself DEFENDING himself when pressured by others
- He doesn’t really have a f&*$ing opinion about anything
- He stews quietly in anger about his circumstances – mostly mad at himself
Any of those sound familiar?
A wishy-washy man is uninspiring to himself.
He has a lot of negative self-talk and beats himself up a lot.
He isn’t happy because he can HEAR HIMSELF speak and he doesn’t like what he hears.
Often, he knows his wife wants more from him. More leadership, more decisiveness and more confidence.
And it pisses him off that he just can’t seem to follow through.
In this video I give you more insight and offer you the first steps you can take to fix this.
This is a little “tough love” brother.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have men in my life who will challenge my excuses, my justifications and my fears.
They will call me on my bullshit when they see that my thinking is screwed up. And they do it with love and with my best interest in mind.
That’s why I’m bringing it up in this email for you. Maybe you don’t have anyone to challenge you to step up and out of your sluggishness.
Sometimes just having a mirror held up to your face makes a man flip a switch and start making changes immediately.
It’s absolutely amazing how fast a man can turnaround his sense of confidence, clarity, focus and happiness when he decides he is going to OWN his thoughts and his actions.
One of the biggest challenges for the wives and girlfriends of my clients is believing how fast a mental shift is made in their man. They want to believe it, but they don’t trust it. (as in, why couldn’t you do this years ago?!)
But, it is real. And it’s permanent.
It’s an immediate switch from wishy-washy to confident, clear and accountable. It’s almost too good to be true.
This is what we promise when you join one of our coaching programs.
Promise? Really? How can we promise that?
Because it’s actually a VERY SMALL shift in your perspective that’s needed to cause an exponential shift in your results.
When you change your core THOUGHTS, you will change your core EMOTIONS, which will change your ACTIONS.
It’s that simple.
These aren’t chest thumping, war painting, Kumbuya coaching programs. I would suck at running those kinds of programs.
Our coaching is for everyday men who are ready to show up powerfully to support each other in the process of becoming confident men who create the life they want.
They don’t settle and they don’t hide. They create.
What about you?
Do you want in?
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why isn’t my wife attracted to me anymore?
A: Attraction fades when leadership fades. She doesn’t need a perfect man—she needs a man with conviction. When you stop hesitating, start deciding, and own your energy, she feels your confidence again. Attraction follows certainty.
Q: What does it mean to be a “wishy-washy” man?
A: It means you’ve lost connection with your own will. You say “I don’t know” too often, overthink everything, and talk yourself out of action. You’re not broken—you’re just out of practice in trusting yourself. Start leading with decisions, not doubts.
Q: How can I stop being so indecisive and uncertain?
A: Decide faster. Even a wrong decision builds more confidence than waiting for the perfect one. Every choice you make trains your nervous system to trust your own judgment. Confidence isn’t found—it’s built through decisive action.
Q: Why does my wife call me needy or weak?
A: Because she feels you leaning on her for validation. When you reclaim your sense of direction and purpose, you stop depending on her mood to define your worth. That shift alone changes how she sees—and responds to—you.
Q: How do I regain my confidence as a man?
A: By doing what you’ve been avoiding. Confidence doesn’t come from pep talks—it comes from consistency. Keep promises to yourself. Take small, bold steps daily. You can’t think your way into manhood; you’ve got to act your way into it.
Q: What changes when I stop being wishy-washy?
A: Everything. You stop defending yourself and start defining yourself. You stop reacting and start leading. The moment you commit to owning your thoughts and actions, people—including your wife—begin to feel your strength again. That’s when respect and attraction return.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
