You Can’t Win Your Wife’s Heart Back Without This
I was at a men’s seminar a few years ago with Alex Allman and Sean Stephenson. These are two very confident masculine men. Alex looks like a typical 6 foot, handsome, ladies man.
Sean was about 3 feet tall and confined to a wheel chair with brittle bone disease he’d had since birth. That’s him below.
There was a guy in the audience who was getting frustrated and asked the question that most of us have thought about but never asked.
“Why is it so hard to connect with a woman and feel appreciated and get the affection and passion we want in a relationship?”
Sean rolled his wheel chair across the front of the room as he paused to prepare his answer. Then he faced his chair right at the man with the question and calmly said, “Because you’re not yet the kind of man who gets those things.”
Sonofabitch…that kind of hurt…and I wasn’t even the one who asked. And how did THIS guy get to be such a bad ass with an amazing life and marriage??
Sean went on over the next hour to explain what he knows about men, women, masculinity, self-confidence, sexual polarity and why it seems so hard to get what we want.
The bottom line to his answer was this.
You’ll get what you want when you learn how to be a calm, confident, deliberate and pleased man.
It’s only that man who can CREATE what he wants instead of wishing for what he wants.
I get a lot of emails from men wanting to know what they need to DO in order to turn around their marriage. They want to reconnect with their wife or girlfriend. They want to “save their marriage”.
The reason it is so difficult for most men to do this is because they are not yet ready. They just want to DO something – anything – because they don’t know how to BE. Little do they know that they need to DO less than they ever thought.
They lack the mental and emotional “fitness”, the clarity and calm confidence they require to say what must be said – to think the thoughts that create confidence – to be an unapologetically passionate man who fully intends to create what he wants.
In this video I talk more about the type of fitness I’m referring to and why it’s so important for you to make this your TOP PRIORITY now.
Just like firefighters, cops and search and rescue experts we need to do the work.
We need to prepare our bodies and minds like they do. We need to have a plan, be clear about what role we play, understand what might go wrong and continuously work to be the best we can be.
We need to put on our own oxygen mask and do our own work before trying to charge into the room and demand change from the people in our lives.
That super calm, secure, clear, confident feeling you want is readily available to you. Those are already inside you.
She can NOT give those to you.
This is why you must make yourself your top priority…now…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why doesn’t my wife appreciate everything I do for her?
A: Because appreciation isn’t earned through effort—it’s magnetized through presence. When you stop chasing approval and start radiating calm confidence, respect and affection return naturally. You don’t need to do more. You need to be more of the grounded man she can trust.
Q: What does it mean to ‘become the kind of man who gets those things’?
A: It means embodying the energy of a calm, clear, deliberate leader. A man who doesn’t beg for love but inspires it by how he lives. You create attraction, respect, and connection not through control—but through who you’re being in every moment.
Q: How do I rebuild my confidence when I feel like I’m failing as a husband?
A: Start by stopping the frantic fixing. Confidence comes from clarity, not control. Breathe. Slow down. Get grounded in your values and act from calm intention. That’s the kind of strength that quietly rebuilds trust and attraction.
Q: Why do I feel powerless to change my relationship?
A: Because you’ve been trying to change her instead of mastering yourself. True power begins when you stop outsourcing your peace. When you lead with emotional steadiness, the dynamic around you changes—because energy follows leadership, not pleading.
Q: What kind of ‘fitness’ does masculine leadership require?
A: Emotional fitness. The discipline to pause before reacting, the patience to listen before defending, and the courage to stay open when it hurts. It’s the same mindset elite professionals train for—steady under pressure, clear in chaos, confident without bravado.
Q: What’s the fastest way to start feeling calm and confident again?
A: Get around strong, honest men who’ve already done the work. Brotherhood accelerates growth. You’ll stop spinning in isolation and start feeling anchored in who you are. Calm confidence isn’t taught—it’s transferred through connection.
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