Why Your Wife Gives Affection To The Kids And The Dog But Not You
Have you ever uttered these words under your breath?
“Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He’s getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I’ve gotten in two months. “
Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I’m talking about.
If you’ve ever been in that cold, dark, barren “friend zone” with your wife, you know what I mean.
It’s that constant feeling of rejection and emptiness…just hoping for one little show of attention or affection. And when you see her happily give it to anyone or anything but you the downward spiral of anger and resentment starts.
Damn dog. What’s he have that you don’t have?
Brace yourself. This hurt me too when I realized it.
That damn dog had more of a life than I did.
Does your dog have a more interesting and satisfying life than you?
If so, that’s why it’s so easy for her to give him all the affection she wants.
He’s already good.
He loves the attention, but it’s not the only thing on his mind for the day.
There’s zero risk that he’s going to demand more from her.
Watch this quick video to find out what I’m talking about.
“You’ll never be more approachable and attractive as when you appear to others as loving your own life.”
~ Me
This is true at work. It’s true when making friends. It’s true when building a business.
And it’s true in your committed relationship.
However, many of us begin to use our committed relationship and partner as our safe house for whining, complaining and begging for attention. It’s a place where we play smaller and it begins to be the only “life” we can imagine.
No wonder so many of us men become unhappy, clingy, needy shells of the man we used to be. And no wonder we can end up resenting the damn dog for having more game than we do!
What’s the answer to getting a life BIGGER than your dog?
Make a decision to take care of yourself.
Most men don’t even know what that means. They don’t prioritize their health, their desires, their passions or their dreams.
Most men are too busy operating to someone else’s agenda for what it means to be a “good guy” and are getting exhausted trying to please everyone but themselves.
What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail?
What interest and passion have you put on the back burner?
What new skill or adventure have you talked yourself out of every year for the last ten years?
I’ve got two suggestions to get you off dead center today. One is super easy and the other is a little riskier!
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why does my wife show more affection to the dog than to me?
A: Because the dog isn’t asking for it. He’s content, playful, and full of life. You, on the other hand, might be showing pressure and neediness. Women are drawn to men who enjoy their own lives. When you start living fully again, she’ll feel your energy shift.
Q: How did I end up in the “friend zone” with my wife?
A: It happens when your world starts revolving around her approval. The more you chase affection, the less attractive you become. Stop begging for connection—start living with purpose. When you’re fulfilled and self-led, you stop being her roommate and start being her man again.
Q: How can I become more attractive to my wife again?
A: Fall back in love with your own life. Confidence is magnetic. Pursue hobbies, goals, and passions that light you up. A man who’s content in his own skin doesn’t demand love—he inspires it. That’s how you rebuild emotional and sexual attraction in a marriage.
Q: Why do I feel resentful or jealous when my wife gives affection elsewhere?
A: Because you’ve outsourced your happiness. You’re waiting for her to make you feel valuable. The truth? That’s your job. When you reclaim your independence and purpose, her behavior stops defining your worth—and resentment fades naturally.
Q: What’s the cure for neediness and emotional dependence in marriage?
A: Get a life bigger than your relationship. Take care of your body, your mind, your mission. The more energy you pour into growth, the less you’ll crave validation. Neediness disappears when your self-respect becomes stronger than your fear of rejection.
Q: How do I start rebuilding my masculine confidence today?
A: Pick one thing that excites you—and do it. Sign up for the class, hit the gym, plan the trip, start the project. Small wins build momentum. Every action that serves you adds to your masculine mojo and makes you more alive—and more attractive.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
