Who is Wearing the “Power” in YOUR Marriage?
Power? What do I mean by power?
I’m talking about the kind of power a man needs to create attraction.
The kind of power a man needs to LEAD others to places of emotional safety, respect, and passion.
The kind of power a man requires to meet the woman of his dreams or stay married to her.
It’s often said that “He who cares the LEAST, has the most power in a relationship”.
In fact, you will hear me and many other authors say nearly the same thing.
Nearly.
I word it differently.
“He who cannot care less about what she thinks of him has the most power over himself.”
It is the lack of power over himself that is the very source of his inabilities to attract, inspire, lead, or seduce the woman in his life or those he wants in his life.
This power in NOT about caring less about HER, it’s about caring less about her opinion of YOU.
There is a HUGE difference between not giving a shit about her and not giving a shit about what she thinks about you.
The former I don’t advise.
The latter I believe is absolutely essential!
That statement normally stuns and confuses many men…and women. Let me explain.
Not giving a shit about her means not caring about her hopes, her dreams, her pains, or her passions.
That would be bad. Agreed?
Now, let’s assume for a minute that YOU have some pretty important hopes and dreams. Let’s assume YOU also have some pain. And let’s assume YOU also have some pretty intense passion for your goals, your values, your hobbies, your family, your wife, your sex life…whatever.
Each day you try to live your life reaching for your dreams. You think about them. You read about them. You talk about them. You learn about them. You dream about them.
You share your ideas and your enthusiasm with those you care about and those who care about you. You take action toward achieving your goals. You stumble. You move on. You are living the life YOU want to live in accordance with the desires that most drive you.
You acknowledge your pain. You openly discuss your feelings and your regrets. You share your emotions without shame because you know they are shaping you, redirecting you, and helping others to really know you.
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You are passionate about forward momentum. You love deeply and want to be loved deeply. Your desire to share intimacy of all types is raw, unapologetic, and non-negotiable.
You want to understand the needs of those you love. You give freely of your love and your acceptance of their dreams and passions. You support and affirm them in your words and actions the best way you know how. You believe in them and their value. You expect a long life of mutual support, respect, and sharing of passions.
Everything you say and do makes this expectation exceedingly clear.
You don’t give a shit about what ANYBODY thinks of you and your dreams.
Including your wife.
Why would you?
But many men do. They are deeply affected by how their wife treats them and their dreams. They are easily redirected by sarcasm, cynicism, doubt, and negativity.
They second guess their dreams and their values when others behave in ways that don’t support them.
They allow the threat of disappointment and disapproval to derail them.
The fear of not being loved anymore grips them. The idea of less sex paralyzes them.
They sacrifice their momentum and their energy in the name of compromise. Compromising their very VALUES. Compromising their very DREAMS. Compromising their PASSIONS.
This is NOT the kind of relationship “compromise” meant by all those books and articles.
This kind of compromise is how a man loses his power – power over himself.
This kind of compromise appears weak and unattractive to the woman in his life and to those he wants in his life.
This kind of compromise can destroy a man’s power to be who he wants to be.
Don’t compromise. Don’t lose your power. Don’t give a shit about what she thinks about you.
Choose to love. Choose to attract. Choose to inspire. Choose to lead.
Are you the man you were meant to be? Do you know who that is yet?
If not, it’s time to figure it out. Today.
Not tomorrow.
Really, tomorrow is no good.
Q: What does “power” really mean for a man in a relationship?
A: Power isn’t dominance or indifference. It’s power over yourself—your emotions, your dreams, your direction. It’s the confidence to lead, inspire, and create emotional safety without needing her approval. That’s the kind of masculine confidence that creates attraction and keeps a relationship passionate and alive.
Q: Why does caring about what my wife thinks of me make me lose attraction and confidence?
A: Because when you prioritize her opinion over your own values, dreams, and personality, you lose power over yourself. You become reactive, insecure, and easily derailed by sarcasm, doubt, or withdrawal. Women don’t lose attraction because you care—they lose it because you need their validation.
Q: What’s the difference between not giving a shit about her and not giving a shit about what she thinks of me?
A: A massive difference. Not giving a shit about her is cold and damaging. But not giving a shit about her opinion of you is liberating. It means you love deeply while staying rooted in your values, purpose, passion, and identity. That’s the kind of man who is impossible to ignore.
Q: How do men lose their power in relationships without realizing it?
A: Slowly. By letting fear of disapproval shape their choices. By compromising their values, passions, dreams, and momentum to avoid conflict or win affection. That self-abandonment feels weak and unattractive—to both partners. Power fades when you stop being the man you were meant to be.
Q: Why do I feel so afraid of disappointing my wife or losing her love?
A: Because you’ve tied your worth to her approval instead of your own identity. The fear of losing love, connection, or sex makes men shrink. But attraction grows when a man leads his own life unapologetically, with love but without fear. Women feel safer with a man who is solid in himself.
Q: How do I get my power back and become the man I’m meant to be?
A: You stop compromising who you are. You reconnect with your dreams, values, passions, and purpose. You choose to lead, love, inspire, and move forward. You detach from her judgment while staying deeply connected emotionally. That’s the moment your power returns—and attraction follows.
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