When There’s No Affection in Your Marriage Anymore
I won’t beat around the bush. I haven’t been completely honest with you.
I’ll get right to it. Here are some of the little white lies I’ve been telling you:
I can tell you how to save your marriage
I can teach you how to get more sex – as much as you want
I can help you make your wife happy
I can show you how to make your woman want you again
Those words are exactly what I was Googling years ago when I was in your shoes.
It’s called “Search Engine Optimization”. It’s exactly how my early coaches and mentors got me to click on their information. They baited me with key words and teaser tidbits that tickled my pain points and promised me what I thought I wanted. I remember one of the phrases I clicked on what “Nymphomanic Wife”.
Yeah. It worked.
I was Googling for what I thought I wanted and – along the way – I discovered what I really needed.
It was that frantic, frustrated Googling that started my journey and likely how you wound up meeting Dan & I.
The truth is that while you may think you want to save your marriage, get more sex or make your wife happy…that’s NOT what you need.
A happy, healthy, intimate and sexual relationship isn’t a requirement to start with…it’s a RESULT.
It’s a result of BEING a healthy, happy and passionate man.
I go into greater detail in this video about what this change in thinking is all about.
The reason I pick those key words and phrases is because they are the thoughts already in your head. They are the words that get your attention and they are the words that worked on me.
The only reality I knew was that my sense of well-being, security and happiness was outside of me – in someone else’s hands. I believed my only option was to learn how to control or manipulate those outside circumstances.
It turns out that was total BS and a total waste of time. I would never get what I wanted by trying to change my outside circumstances.
What I want you to know is that by changing your inside circumstances your perception of your outside circumstances changes almost immediately. Your reality then changes too.
Yes, the objective facts haven’t changed, but your relationship to those facts, your thoughts and the meaning you assign to those thoughts can all change your experience of what’s happening.
This is the birthplace of your renewed sense of calmness, confidence and peace of mind. (aka. Mojo)
What are Inside Circumstances?
These are your thoughts. It’s your understanding of how life and relationships really work. It’s your deeper view into the cause of shame in women and men. And it’s your realization that – at your core – you’re actually okay.
Your inside circumstances are the only true source of your calm, clear, confident sense of well-being. And that’s a good thing because that’s all you can actually influence.
That’s what I needed to learn…even though it’s NOT what I was Googling for.
So, I apologize for the little white lies, but it’s the only way most men will start their journey – looking for something they don’t really need. No matter how much we WANT something, it will never satisfy us if it’s not what we need.
One of the most powerful insights I’ve ever had is:
You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.
Once a man begins to understand this at a deep level, the lights come on…one by one. And by changing his perceptions he changes his emotions…which change his responses…which create outcomes he never imagined possible.
Good outcomes. I promise!
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why do most men start by Googling “how to save my marriage”?
A: Because pain drives action. When your relationship feels like it’s slipping away, your brain scrambles for control. But here’s the truth — your power doesn’t come from fixing her or the marriage. It comes from restoring your own clarity, calm, and confidence first.
Q: What’s the real problem with trying to “make my wife happy”?
A: You can’t. And it’s not your job. Happiness is an inside job — for both of you. When you chase her approval, you lose your center. When you live from your purpose and values, her happiness becomes a byproduct, not your burden.
Q: Why doesn’t learning tactics to “get my wife to want me again” actually work?
A: Because attraction isn’t about tricks. It’s about energy. A man who feels grounded and content in himself naturally becomes magnetic. You can’t fake that with strategies — you have to build it from the inside out.
Q: What do you mean by “changing inside circumstances”?
A: Your inside circumstances are your thoughts, beliefs, and emotional habits. They shape how you interpret every situation. When you shift from fear to curiosity, or from victim to creator, the same marriage feels completely different — even if nothing on the outside has changed.
Q: Why do I keep chasing what I think I want instead of what I need?
A: Because you’re conditioned to believe external success equals peace. But what you need is self-trust — not control. When you build confidence from within, you stop needing everything around you to behave a certain way to feel okay.
Q: What happens when I finally stop trying to fix everything?
A: You breathe again. The moment you stop forcing outcomes and start leading yourself, everything softens — your body, your tone, even the tension in your marriage. Ironically, that’s when connection and attraction start returning on their own.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
