What Can You Do To Stop Your Wife Wanting Divorce?
Are you struggling, facing the potential end of your marriage? Searching the internet often creates more confusion than answers. In this article I explain what you can do to stop your wife wanting divorce.
Bear with me while I give you an analogy to help with your current situation…
The Threat Of Divorce vs The Threat Of Being Fired
The two are eerily similar…
- There is the immediate shock and sadness that comes from the rejection and shame of failure.
- Then the desperation and bargaining that comes with trying to make it “not so”…to FIX it and get it back.
- Then comes the ego-gripping fear of being all alone and forced to find a “replacement” for what you just lost.
Then – if you play your cards right – there comes the phase of realizing that maybe you’ve been given an amazing gift.
“Yeah, right“, you say? Read on.
A Story About Bob Getting Fired
Bob got fired from his job with a top-tier electrical contracting firm. The reason was “downsizing” due to a weak local economy.
Bob thought this could never happen because he was one of the best electricians in the company. If fact, he earned nearly DOUBLE what the newer guys were getting paid. (He thinks that’s the reason they let him go)
How was he going to find another job that paid as well? Who would hire him in this economy? How could he possibly convince the local competing company to hire him and pay him what he wanted?
Bob decided to go on a campaign to become irreplaceable. He would learn more than anyone else. He began a crash course in advanced controls programming, computer room design and fuel cell backup power systems. (Important: those things really interested him!)
He also decided to get especially well educated in the company he planned to pursue. He understood their products, their customer base and their biggest challenges in the current market.
He felt like a rock star! And he convinced the competing company to interview him after 5 letters and 10 phone calls.
At the end of the interview with the owner of the company, the owner said, “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never met anyone so clearly talented, motivated, educated and ambitious. You’ve blown me away with your preparation and your insights into our operations!”
Other articles you may find helpful:
Wife is Happy Around Everyone Except You – Why?I Don’t Want a Divorce But My Wife is So Unaffectionate Towards Me!
Bob wasn’t prepared for what the owner said next.
“You’re clearly overqualified for the positions I have available. You don’t belong working for someone else. I think you will find you’ll do much better for yourself and your life if you went out on your own!”
Bob walked out of the building feeling both disappointed and nervously excited. The words, “You don’t belong working for someone else.” kept ringing in his ears. All he’d ever known was just showing up…being a good employee…working to someone else’s agenda and priorities.
With a nervous smile, he realized he was just given an amazing gift. And after all the work he did to prepare for that job interview, he realized he had the ability to learn and do anything he wanted.
So he did. And his life changed forever in ways he never could have imagined.
A Man Facing Divorce Must Make A Decision
I’m going to just spell this out for You.
The pain of a failing marriage or the impending doom of divorce can be a gift for you if you CHOOSE to make it so.
You already know my bias in this deal.
More related articles for you:
How To Make Real Lasting Changes In Your MarriageSexless Marriage How to Attract Your Wife Again
Whether you stay married or not…you must decide you’re done working for someone else’s approval, affirmation and acceptance!
I’m not interested in helping you save your marriage. There’s no such thing really. The “marriage” is simply you + her. And YOU is the variable over which you have complete control.
There is ONLY the decision to save yourself.
To LEARN. To change.
To see things in a better light…see HER in a better light.
To be focused ONLY on outcomes you control.
To be courageous and decisive even in the face of uncertainty.
This is what it sounds like when a man has this realization and finds himself a few months down the road. This is a real post right out of our GG2GM group conversation TODAY. (you should really be in this conversation)
“I came here scared, alone, and confused. My wife, kids, and I are better off because of what I was able to experience and learn through this brotherhood. We still love one another and always will. We will always be a part of each other’s lives because of the beautiful kids we created together. No matter where you are in this amazing, terrifying, crazy journey, try to accept things even if they don’t make sense. The answer to the question why doesn’t matter. There isn’t a should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve. There only ‘is’ what is in this moment. What you can do in the now matters most. I pray each of you find your way here. Be strong and courageous. You will succeed, Brothers.”
You may be wondering if he stayed married or got divorced.
My point is that it doesn’t matter as much as the mindset of love and the feeling of calm, confident courage in your bones.
You Can’t Control Outcomes: You Control Your PROCESS.
You have total control over your response and over your growth.
The fear of being labeled a “divorced man” is the rocket fuel that can propel you to become the man you always wanted to be…living in the amazing skin of a man you previously only imagined.
Are you ready to face the challenge?
Let’s do it together.
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Q: How do I stop my wife wanting divorce when everything feels like it’s falling apart?
A: You can’t make your wife stop wanting divorce. What you can do is stop working for her approval and start working on yourself. Focus on your process—your growth, courage, and clarity—not the outcome. Saving yourself is your best shot at changing the marriage dynamic.
Q: Why does the threat of divorce feel so much like getting fired from my job?
A: Both trigger the same fears: rejection, shame, and panic about the future. Just like Bob getting fired, you can use this as a wake-up call. Instead of begging to be “rehired” as a husband, decide to become the man you’d be crazy not to choose.
Q: What should I do when I’m terrified of being a “divorced man”?
A: Treat that fear as rocket fuel, not a life sentence. You can’t control whether the marriage survives, but you can control your response and growth. Use this season to become clearer, braver, and more self-respecting than you’ve ever been. That identity travels with you, married or not.
Q: How do I stop obsessing over saving my marriage and focus on saving myself?
A: Catch yourself every time you think, “How do I save my marriage?” and replace it with, “How do I want to think, speak, and act today?” You + her = marriage. You only control you. When you invest in your own mindset and maturity, everything else becomes clearer.
Q: What mindset should I have if my wife might leave but we still have kids together?
A: Think long-term and big-picture. Whether you stay married or not, you’ll likely be in each other’s lives because of the kids. Your job is to become a calm, grounded, loving man your children can depend on and your ex can cooperate with. That’s real power.
Q: Can working on myself really change anything if my wife has already checked out?
A: Yes—starting with your own experience of this whole ordeal. When you stop grasping for control and focus on courage, acceptance, and self-respect, you feel different in your own skin. Sometimes that shift softens her; sometimes it clears the path to a healthier life without her. Either way, you win.
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