The Reason Intimacy Fades In Marriage
I’m going to get right to the point.
If the intimacy in your marriage is lower than you’d like or non-existent, there’s a fundamental aspect of your relationship that is currently broken and that aspect is TRUST.
She may have said to you “I don’t trust you anymore!”, or she may not have, but I can guarantee that it’s a huge part of what’s going wrong between you.
So what does it mean?
If there is a lack of trust in your marriage, you’ve only got TWO options.
1. Throw in the towel and try again with someone new.
2. Become trustworthy.
Whether she’s saying it or just thinking it to herself, your “lioness” is currently believing things like this:
- I don’t trust you really care about me.
- I don’t trust you to be present.
- I don’t trust you to accept me for who I am.
- I don’t trust you to have my back.
- I don’t trust you to not hurt me again!
…you’ve got some thinking to do and some work to do.
But the work is simple if you can get your self-respect back.
It’s easy when you feel more confident in yourself and you’re clear about what standards you expect of yourself. It’s effortless when you stop making things a competition for who’s right or wrong.
When you’re the LION, you’re not so damn rattled all the time. You’re not anxious about her anger and you’re not tense about having another fight.
When you’re the LION, you see a MUCH BIGGER PICTURE of what is actually happening.
And from there, you’re not scared of her anymore. You know exactly what she needs and what you will do to help. THIS guy is TRUSTWORTY because:
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- He’s calm and confident
- He’s consistent in his words and responses
- He’s dependable and predictable
- He’s reliable in his attitude and temperament
- He’s open and courageous to her storms and her need to vent
- He’s patient
- He’s pleased with himself
- And he’s AMUSED at the process of being him and leading his relationship back to trust, connection and intimacy.
That last one seals the deal. When you can find your own lane of confident, calm, consistent, patient masculine energy, everything changes. I explain it more in this video.
The best and fastest way to rebuild trust with your wife is to become trustworthy.
There is no shortcut. And there is no faking it.
The work we do with men totally rewires their thinking and their emotional strength to become the LION in their life and relationship.
When men tell me, “I want to become a better husband…a better father…a better MAN!”, I ask them, “What’s getting in your way?”
The answers are usually the same.
“My dad never taught me this stuff!”
“She’s an impossible woman to deal with!”
“I can’t make her happy!”
“I have no confidence when I deal with her and I’m scared to stand up to her.”
“I just don’t know what to try next!”
I don’t want you to TRY anything.
I want you to DO something you’ve never done before.
I want you to ask for help.
I had to ask for help. It’s not easy, I get it.
But, I guarantee you that doing things the same old way and being the same old you will be a whole lot harder.
How about I offer you a menu of options you have to ask for help. I want to see you take charge.
And I want to see the lightbulb moment you have when this shit really starts to click with you.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: How do I rebuild trust with my wife when she says she doesn’t trust me anymore?
A: Stop trying to convince her with words—become a man she can feel safe trusting again. Trust is rebuilt through calm, consistent, reliable behavior over time. When you show up as the LION—steady, grounded, patient—she’ll eventually believe in your strength again.
Q: Why did my wife lose trust in me even though I’ve never cheated or lied?
A: Trust isn’t only about honesty—it’s about emotional safety. She might not trust you to stay calm when she’s upset, to care deeply without defense, or to have her back no matter what. These are leadership moments where your grounded masculine energy restores connection.
Q: What should I do when she says, “I don’t trust you anymore”?
A: Don’t panic. Don’t argue. And definitely don’t beg. Take it as a clear signal to become trustworthy again—not perform it, become it. Get your self-respect back, set higher standards for yourself, and lead with calm consistency instead of emotional reactivity.
Q: How can I become the kind of man my wife can trust again?
A: A trustworthy man is calm, confident, and dependable. He doesn’t get rattled by her storms or moods. He’s predictable in his attitude and courageous enough to face her emotions without retreating. Becoming this man starts with emotional rewiring—learning to lead yourself first.
Q: Why is it so hard to feel confident when intimacy disappears from the marriage?
A: Because intimacy isn’t the problem—it’s the symptom. When trust breaks down, both of you withdraw. Confidence comes back when you stop trying to fix her and start leading yourself. As you rebuild your emotional strength, you naturally become the man she can trust and desire again.
Q: What’s the first step to regaining trust and rebuilding intimacy in my marriage?
A: Ask for help. Don’t keep doing what hasn’t worked. Whether it’s a coaching call, group membership, or the Defuse the Divorce Bomb course—start now. The fastest way to rebuild trust with your wife is to become trustworthy. And that begins the moment you decide to lead.
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Have questions about your relationship?
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