The Problem With Being Overly Vulnerable In Your Marriage
Everyone is saying it these days.
Vulnerability is a strength…not a weakness!
This is definitely confusing to married men who have been expressing their feelings and emotional discomfort in their marriage only to be clobbered over the head with their vulnerability.
It’s a paradox.
Vulnerability can be both a strength AND a weakness.
Vulnerability is strength when we express ourselves from an emotionally secure place. Vulnerability can be powerful and liberating when we share our feelings and fears without apology, without defense, without shame…and without a hidden agenda to get something.
We can feel a surge of self-respect and inner peace when we finally speak our unapologetic truth without fear.
I believe vulnerability is one of the most important traits of a courageous, whole-hearted man. It’s our ticket to a truly authentic presence.
So when is vulnerability a “weakness”?
I explain this in the short video below.
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” ~ Brene Brown
While vulnerability requires great courage, I often caution men about the “misuse” of their emotional expressions.
How can we “misuse” vulnerability?
In the context of a struggling marriage or emotional conflict, we can pressure, coerce or manipulate others with our pain.
We may justify our constant sharing of feelings and demand for attention as simple “communication”.
How could she not want to “communicate”?
This is where our coaching gets very direct.
Sharing your unbridled emotions, fears and feelings with your wife is typically ineffective and unwanted.
It can cause more distance, discord and disrespect.
This is why we emphasize the need to be vulnerable with someone who can handle it.
And that someone is another man who totally gets you.
Most men tell me they have few men in their life they can trust.
I think this is the biggest reason I created the Goodguys2Greatmen community. There is no other place I know of with so many strong, wise, compassionate and helpful men.
If you’re a man who is ready to get vulnerable with men you can trust, here are some great options for you.
No strings.
No games.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why does my wife pull away when I’m vulnerable?
A: Because what you call “vulnerability” may feel like pressure to her. When emotion turns into a plea for validation, it stops being strength. True vulnerability isn’t dumping pain—it’s calmly revealing truth without needing her to fix it.
Q: When is vulnerability a strength?
A: It’s a strength when you share from security, not desperation. When you can speak openly about your fears without apologizing or defending yourself, you project confidence. That’s the kind of vulnerability women trust and respect.
Q: When does vulnerability become a weakness?
A: When it’s used to get something—attention, affection, or reassurance. That’s not openness, it’s manipulation. Real vulnerability has no hidden agenda. It’s about owning your truth, not outsourcing your worth.
Q: How can I be emotionally open without losing attraction?
A: Stay grounded when you share. Lead with calm energy, not chaos. Let her feel that you can hold your own emotions without crumbling. Strength and sensitivity are magnetic when they come from self-trust.
Q: Who should I talk to about my deepest fears?
A: Other men who can handle them. Brotherhood is where you build emotional strength. When you process your fears with grounded men, you return to your relationship composed, confident, and unshakably centered.
Q: Why do I feel better after talking with other men instead of my wife?
A: Because men mirror back your strength, not your fear. They challenge and steady you, not rescue you. That balance helps you reclaim your masculine center—so when you speak to your wife, it’s from peace, not panic.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
