The Only Thing That Works To Stop The Pain Of A Failing Marriage
I remember how alone I felt when I heard the words.
“I just don’t feel in love or attracted to you anymore. I’m not sure we ever had that kind of connection.”
It was like I was the only man in the world going through it and nobody else had ever felt this kind of pain and confusion.
Nobody could possibly understand the level of desperation and anguish that comes from feeling like your life is being yanked right out from under you
Of course, I was wrong.
What I learned pretty quickly was that there were THOUSANDS of men out there exactly like me. In fact, their stories were shockingly similar.
Same sequence of events.
Same weird behavior. Same words and phrases.
Same inability for her to say anything remotely rational.
The answer, “I just don’t know.” was applied to every single question.
The Funny Thing Is…
The weird thing that began to happen after a few months of intense personal work, research and talking with other men is…
I started to laugh.
Not the rolling-on-the-floor kind of laughing.
It was more like how I laughed while watching a spider monkey in a cowboy hat ride a border collie while herding sheep. (It was the half-time show at a rodeo…don’t judge me.)
And yeah, it was bizarre. Freakish to watch. And oddly funny.
Laughing at my own situation was only possible when I started to see the truth about what was happening and why.
It wasn’t all about me. And I want you to know it’s not all about you either.
There’s a freaky half-time circus show that goes on inside the mind and body of many, many women. They start searching for something they’ve lost. It’s out of their control and it’s certainly out of yours.
Once you understand what you’re watching, the hurt starts to give way to curiosity and yes, humor.
If you’re in the middle of the crap right now, I realize you might think I’m crazy. Hey, I’m just giving you a glimpse into your future.
You will get through it. You will not die.
And if you choose to, you will learn, grow, excel and become more aware and alive than you’ve felt in the last 20 years.
How do I know this?
Because I’m lucky enough to help men follow the steps they need to get there every day. It’s kind of like rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and feeling like you’re really getting your shit together again.
There is a certain strategy you need to learn. With the strategy comes key skills and, most importantly, a stronger MINDSET that causes you to take bold new action. Action gives you confidence, energy and momentum.
Will all this save your marriage? Who knows?
And if you focus only on that, you’ll be distracted from doing what really matters. That’s focusing on you and what you can control.
I made this video to help you get clear-headed about this. This is a video about hope.
You have to get to the point where you realize that your future is not determined by her loving you.
The quality of your future, your aliveness, your vitality in your relationships, the wealth and innovation you experience…is not tied to her liking you and approving you and in keeping everybody under one roof.
The day you got married you had about a 50/50 shot of this working out in the way that you imagined it might, those odds stay with you – they’re still about 50/50 now.
You’re one of millions of brothers in this situation that are seeing the math play out the way it does sometimes.
You can’t let it define your future.
So my question to you is…How do you want to use your next 20 years? You’ve got 2, 3 maybe 4 decades of life to go yet.
Don’t let this one incident, this one event, this one little hiccup in your life, cause you to miss out on the next 2 or 3 or 4 decades.
How do you want to use them?
What is your legacy?
What do you want to create?
Who do you want to be?
Outside of the relationship with your wife…what do you want to do?
That’s what I help guys do. That’s my passion.
I want to tell you and share with you about the aliveness that’s available to you in your future. That you can create your reality. And that the pain that you may be feeling right now, does not define you or your future.
You have more control than you think.
I’d love to have a conversation with you about that.
When I get into these phone calls with you, we go for 60 or 90 minutes and we cover everything that’s going on in your life. Everything she’s said, everything you’re feeling. And what I want you to do, is walk away from this phone call with me feeling like you have got a glimmer of hope and that maybe the way you were thinking before you contacted me, was driving you into a pit of despair.
I want to pull you out of that…at least for a day.
If you’re ready for someone to talk to – someone who has walked in your shoes and found the way through the mess, below are some options for you to change right away…
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
Q: What should I do when my wife says she’s not in love with me anymore?
A: Take a breath, brother. Don’t rush to fix it. Her words reflect her confusion, not your worth. Start by focusing on what you can control—your calm, your confidence, and your clarity. That’s the foundation of attraction and healing.
Q: Why does my wife say she’s not attracted to me anymore?
A: Attraction isn’t static—it’s energetic. When you lose your grounded presence and start leading with fear, she feels it. Rebuilding attraction starts when you stop chasing validation and start embodying strength, curiosity, and calm leadership again.
Q: Can I win her back after she’s fallen out of love?
A: Maybe. But that’s the wrong question. The real win is rediscovering yourself—your purpose, your value, your masculine edge. Ironically, when you stop trying to win her back and start leading your own life, that’s when she might notice.
Q: Why does this pain feel so unbearable?
A: Because rejection shakes the very foundation of your identity. You thought your story was safe. But pain is also an awakening—it forces you to grow beyond who you were. Once you face it head-on, clarity and peace start to return.
Q: How can I find hope when my marriage feels over?
A: Hope isn’t found in her words—it’s built through your mindset. When you focus on your future, your growth, and your masculine confidence, you reclaim your power. That’s the moment you stop surviving and start leading again.
Q: What’s the first step to getting my life back after heartbreak?
A: Start by laughing at how absurd it all feels. Seriously. When you can find humor in chaos, you’ve taken your power back. Then surround yourself with men who’ve walked through the fire and found purpose on the other side.
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