The Most Attractive Masculine Men Know This In Their Bones
The mountain lion speaks to me because he’s the perfect metaphor for cool, calm, confident masculinity.
And he achieves this not by DOING anything in particular…he just IS.
This is what makes him so regal – so magnetic – so attractive.
It’s the mystery of his fierce energy and his quiet resolve. He’s focused and engaged while detached and relaxed at the same time.
He seems entirely self-satisfied and unrattled by drama.
They say “the lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks”.
And a Nigerian proverb says “The roaring lion kills no prey.” He doesn’t over-react. He speaks less and listens more. He responds calmly and does only what is needed.
Here’s my annual summer video from the hummingbird feeder to explain more.
How do you become naturally confident and attractive like a mountain lion?
First of all you have to become aware of what is NOT natural.
It is NOT natural for you to be in a state of anxiety, fear or defensiveness.
It is NOT natural for you to feel out of control and uncertain.
Sure, those natural emotions we may experience from time to time.
But they are NOT meant to be your default mode. Once you recognize yourself in those states, you can choose to change.
What do you BELIEVE to be your natural default mode?
I believe your natural state is well-being. Your default mode is self-confidence and clarity of purpose. It’s a state of being OKAY at any given moment.
What if you believed that too?
You and I weren’t born mountain lions, but we can simply decide that is who we are meant to be and who we SHALL be.
You are who you say you are.
What have you been telling yourself lately about who you are?
Seriously, answer that. Hit reply and tell me what you’ve been thinking about yourself. Then tell me what you would rather be thinking.
This is one of many examples of challenges and exercises we explore in coaching.
And when you do this with other smart men like yourself, you start seeing things you’ve never seen. You feel shifts you’ve never felt.
And you accelerate down a path of transformation so powerful there ain’t no going back.
Why?
Because you can never “unsee or unlearn” what you’ve learned when your brain flips a switch.
Ready to change your life? Here are some options to get started right now:
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: How can I become naturally confident like the mountain lion metaphor?
A: Stop trying to be confident and start being grounded. The mountain lion doesn’t prove or perform—he simply knows who he is. Confidence isn’t loud; it’s quiet certainty. The more you relax into yourself, the more others feel your strength.
Q: Why do I keep feeling anxious or defensive in my relationship?
A: Because you’ve forgotten your natural state. Fear and anxiety are learned habits—responses to old stories about not being enough. Confidence isn’t built by controlling her; it’s built by remembering that you’re already okay, no matter what she says or feels.
Q: What does ‘cool, calm, confident masculinity’ actually look like?
A: It looks like composure. It’s the man who speaks less, listens more, and doesn’t chase validation. He holds his ground without aggression. He doesn’t bark back at noise—he moves with quiet purpose, like a lion who knows he doesn’t need to roar.
Q: How do I stop overthinking and stay grounded like a mountain lion?
A: Slow down your thinking. Breathe. Notice the moment you start spinning stories about danger or rejection. Then, instead of reacting, choose stillness. That pause is your power—it’s the space between insecurity and mastery.
Q: Why does calm confidence attract women so much?
A: Because calm is rare. Most men are anxious, reactive, or approval-seeking. A man who’s secure in himself gives her something she can relax into—trust, safety, polarity. She feels him leading, not chasing. That’s what awakens her attraction and respect.
Q: What’s the first step to becoming this grounded, masculine version of myself?
A: Decide. Confidence isn’t earned—it’s remembered. Stop saying, “I’m trying to be better,” and start saying, “I am becoming who I was meant to be.” When you choose to live from calm, clarity, and purpose, the world starts responding differently to you.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
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3 Things She Wants When She Says “I need you to be the man in this relationship”
