The Conversation You’re Avoiding That Can Help Save Your Marriage
In a recent email I mentioned having witnessed 90 year old men in nursing homes sitting in wheelchairs and pissing their pants.
With a sour scowl on their face they watch the old ladies congregate, connect and laugh with each. They’re angry, disconnected and isolated.
I also know a lot of men in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s doing the same thing. I was afraid it might happen to me.
This is what happens to men when they have nobody to talk to.
These are good men. Sensitive men. Intelligent, aware, emotional and caring men.
These are romantic, loving, sexual and interesting men.
Sometimes you’ll see us at a party talking with just the women.
Why?
Because their conversations are usually more fun. They’re more open and more interesting.
That’s me sometimes too.
I can keep up with any guy talking about cars, sports, tools and the great outdoors. But I get bored to tears quickly with the same old rants about politics, sports, weather and the last deer hunt.
I especially get bored with guys who hide out behind the mask of “male toughness” with nothing interesting to share about themselves.
I like things a little deeper – “edgier”, if that’s a word. I’ve spent too much time in the shallow end of the emotional pool trying to cover up my truth and pretend I’m too tough to have feelings.
Hell, as a 13-year old I would secretly read the Ann Landers advice column while pretending to be reading Peanuts. I’d cover up Ann’s answer and then try to answer the questions on my own. I’ve never even told my family this!
And I’m sure my older brother, Gary, is laughing his ass off right now reading this. It feels good to no longer give shit about stuff like that.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Why She No Longer Undresses When You’re In The RoomHow To Measure Your Attractiveness As A Man
I love listening, talking, sharing and connecting with people who want to live more deeply.
I love getting raw and honest about what we want and how we’re going to get it.
That’s the fun part. Figuring out how to make dreams come true and overcoming the obsolete wiring and social programming we’ve had shoved down our throats.
This is what sets us free.
Two Invitations to Connect With Other Great Men
Here are two things I’m up to that can help you connect with other men who get you and can support you.
First
There is a new group coaching program starting at the end of June.
This is a chance to join an exclusive group of high quality men who want to support and be supported by other high quality men.
We are here to share, listen, discuss and debate topics about men, women, sex, relationships and marriage…among other stuff.
I will be coaching you through my Masculine Confidence Intensive course over a period of 4 months. You’ll also be coached by Dan Dore who is the only other trained practitioner of my unique coaching approach for men.
Some of the benefits you’ll leave with after completing the program will be:
- Claim your masculine guiding principles and personal boundaries
- Reignite your confidence in your own strength and ability to respond to women powerfully and attractively
- Get massive confidence in your decision making and communication of your desires and goals
- Become an unapologetically masculine and passionate man
- Learn the truth about feminine power and how you could be “dancing with it” instead of fighting it
- Develop a bold new attitude of pushing your comfort zone and eliminating excuses from your life
- Embrace uncertainty and change knowing without a doubt that you will thrive no matter what
- No longer walk on eggshells around women and claim your place as a powerful, loving, compassionate man
- Create positive sensual tension everywhere you go and enjoy the life of an inspired, engaged, motivated and sexual man.
This Program is For You If:
- You want to create an intense and permanent SHIFT in your mindset in order to feel clear in your decisions and confident in your actions.
- You want new tools, tactics and strategies to deal with your current challenges and emotional triggers. You want to be a man who operates to his own values and expectations of himself.
- You want to be a man who confidently faces difficult circumstances and responds with calmness and clarity while staying independent of any specific outcome.
If you want to be a part of an exclusive group of men who have your back then find out more about the Mens Cave Group Coaching Program here.
Second
You’re probably aware of the retreats coming up this month and later this year here with me in Colorado.
These will be 10 men maximum and will be one of the most powerful, emotionally significant and life-changing events you will ever attend.
It’s in a unique Rocky Mountain setting on my ranch near Denver. We’re going to hike, relax, eat, drink, talk, laugh and learn together. We’ll share sunrises and sunsets together.
This is how we avoid sitting in the corner of a nursing home pissing our pants in our wheelchair.
We will be listening to each other’s triumphs and tribulations and supporting each other to go to a new level in their masculine power.
You will see coaching and be coached to learn a new perspective and a whole new strategy to change your circumstances and get what you want.
Prepare to get a serious shot of confidence, clarity and optimism about your future.
I call it a “Confident Leader” retreat because the most important part of being a leader is knowing how to confidently lead yourself first.
Find out more about the mens retreats coming up here.
You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
Q: Why do so many good men feel lonely, disconnected, or stuck in their own head?
A: Because men rarely have safe places to talk. We hide behind toughness, small talk, politics, and sports instead of real conversations. Without connection, we become isolated — even angry. When men have no brotherhood, they slowly shut down. You’re not broken. You’re just alone, and that’s fixable.
Q: How do I find men who actually “get” me and want deeper conversations?
A: You go where the deeper men are. They’re not in the shallow end of emotional life — they’re in circles where honesty, vulnerability, humor, and ambition are normal. That’s what coaching groups and retreats are for: a room full of men who want depth, truth, clarity, and real support.
Q: Why do I feel more comfortable talking to women than other men?
A: Because women talk more openly and emotionally — and you’re wired for connection. Many men stay guarded, hiding behind toughness and banter. It’s boring. When you finally meet men who drop the mask and speak honestly, it feels refreshing. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re normal — and starving for real brotherhood.
Q: How do I stop myself from becoming that isolated, angry old man you described?
A: By refusing to walk this road alone. Men deteriorate when they lose connection — physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally. You prevent that by building friendships with men who challenge you, lift you, and call out the best in you. Surround yourself with men who make you more alive, not more numb.
Q: What’s the real benefit of joining a men’s group coaching program?
A: Clarity. Confidence. Masculine grounding. You learn to lead yourself, set boundaries, speak your truth, reconnect with desire, and stop walking on eggshells. You also get the brotherhood you’ve been missing your entire life. Men thrive when surrounded by other strong, caring men — it changes everything.
Q: How can a men’s retreat actually change my life?
A: Because it forces you into an environment where depth is normal, vulnerability is respected, and masculine power is awakened. Ten men, one shared mission: become stronger, clearer, more confident leaders of their own lives. Retreats give you perspective, energy, support, adventure, and lifelong friendships — all the things most men lack.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
