Sinking Into Depression Because Of Your Marriage?
Do you feel like you’re sinking into depression because of your marriage? I know how that feels. The darkness and despair can feel like it’s going to swallow your happiness forever. But there is hope…
I was working with a 32-year-old client the other day when it hit me.
He is facing circumstances in his marriage that give him an impending sense of doom. His wife is growing colder by the day…disconnected, often disrespectful and frequently angry.
This is creating a constant uncertainty, anxiety and sadness within him. His thoughts are dark which creates incessant feelings of fear and guilt.
His biggest challenge is the nagging fear that it’s all his fault. That he is broken and that he deserves everything that is happening.
What was it that “hit me”?
The one thing he needs most is exactly what my 42, 52, 62 and (yeah) 72-year-old clients need.
It’s simple but unusually difficult to achieve.
It’s being able to say “hell yes!” to this question.
“Are you okay at this very moment?”
Another way to ask this is:
“Do you believe at your core that you are an honest, loving, caring, thoughtful, considerate, loyal, hard-working man of integrity and innate value who truly loves his wife and kids?”
Because if we can’t say “hell yes!” to this, then we know where we need to start our work.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How to Feel Clear Headed, Emotionally Strong and Happy AgainHow To Get What You Want Especially If You Really Really Want It
I know we say it all the time, but every man’s “happy life” begins inside himself.
He must have a clear and simple belief that he is “okay”….not broken…not a screwed up…and not toxic.
The solution to an impending sense of doom and the dark thoughts that come with is simple.
It’s the sudden, blinding realization that you’re okay and you’re going to be okay.
I talk more about it here in this video.
The One Thing a 32-Year-Old Married Man Needs Most
One of the most powerful transformations a man can make is sharpening his ability to watch himself think.
When you become a keen observer of how you’ve been thinking yourself into fear, guilt and sadness you can FINALLY remember that you’re actually okay.
Your “okayness” can then effectively deal with the reality of what’s happening. Yes…your circumstances may be incredibly sad, scary and uncertain.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Unhappy Wife and Marriage? Let’s Get Your Head Straight NowI’m Putting Her First, Why is She Still Unhappy?
But when you can face those circumstances from a foundation of emotional strength, confidence and self-respect your RESPONSES become much more effective.
Do you want a foundation like that? Clear, calm and confident?
Men who have risen above their doomed marriages did so by calm deliberate choice. We have a very effective process we take men through to gain this kind of clarity and confidence.
How To Move Towards Happiness Again
The fastest and most effective way to build your foundation is with a personal coach who has traveled this journey. If you’re ready for a life-changing deep dive conversation then let’s do it. It’s FREE. Your investment is your courageous request for help. For many men, we know that’s a big deal.
APPLY NOW to answer some questions and send your request for your personalized consultation. I guarantee you’ll learn something you wish your dad would have told you!
And if you’re ready to dip your toes into our amazing community of men and join a band of brothers just like you, the GG2GM Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is the perfect place for you to get the support, insight, encouragement and coaching you need to pull the curtain back and find the “I’m Okay” switch.
Members of this tribe include me, Dan Dore and our certified coaches who are there to help you find your feet again.
The membership is a monthly cost of $69 which you can cancel anytime you want.
When you become a member of this Roundtable, you will get:
- Membership into a private tribe of brothers who care about you
- Access to THREE LIVE COACHING CALLS EACH MONTH with Dan and I plus our other GG2GM certified coaches.
- A password to a private web page with all the session recordings (past five years as well!), reading resources, personal challenge assignments and a running list of frequently asked questions with our written answers.
- Membership into an exclusive and secret Facebook community with just Roundtable members. More support is provided here.
- Exclusive access to our team of coaches who are available to talk with you privately when you need it.
Get started to our live coaching roundtable and scroll to the bottom and sign up.
I promise you that this group of 300+ men will welcome you with open arms.
FAQ 1: How do I know if what I’m feeling is depression or just marriage stress?
A: When the person you love most pulls away, it creates a cocktail of fear, guilt, uncertainty, and hopelessness that feels like depression. But here’s the truth:
You’re not broken — your thinking is overwhelmed.
If your darkest feelings come and go depending on how she’s behaving that week, it’s not clinical depression. It’s the emotional burnout of carrying the entire weight of the marriage on your back. The solution isn’t medication — it’s rediscovering your “I’m okay” foundation so you can respond from strength instead of fear.
FAQ 2: What do I do when my wife’s anger and coldness make me feel like everything is my fault?
A: You pause. You breathe. And you challenge the lie.
Men often assume, “If she’s unhappy, it must be my fault.”
But her feelings are not a report card on your worth as a man. They’re a reflection of her inner world, her fatigue, her resentments, and her own fears. Your job is not to absorb all blame — your job is to remember who you are and to lead yourself from that truth.
FAQ 3: How can I stop sinking into hopelessness when the future looks so bleak?
A: You stop trying to predict the future and start anchoring yourself in the present.
The only question that matters is:
“Am I okay in THIS moment?”
If the answer isn’t a clear “hell yes,” that’s the work — reconnecting to your inherent worth, goodness, strength, and dignity. When you feel solid in THIS moment, your future becomes easier to walk toward with clarity instead of fear.
FAQ 4: How do I rebuild confidence when I feel like I’m losing everything?
A: You learn to watch yourself think.
Confidence isn’t a feeling — it’s the ability to see your insecure thoughts as thoughts, not as truth. When you become the observer of your fear instead of the hostage of your fear, your emotional strength comes rushing back. This is the moment every man in our community looks back on and says, “That’s when everything changed.”
FAQ 5: Can I get through this even if my marriage doesn’t survive?
A: Absolutely — and this is the exact fear you must challenge.
Every man who has done this work and still ended up divorced discovered the same thing:
He didn’t die.
He became clearer, stronger, more grounded, and more alive than he had been in years.
Whether the marriage is saved or not, you will rise from this stronger than the man who entered it. That’s a promise we make because we’ve lived it
FAQ 6: What’s the fastest way to feel stable again when I’m overwhelmed by fear and sadness?
A: Talk to someone who knows exactly what this feels like.
You don’t need more YouTube videos or more thinking time.
You need a clear, masculine voice reminding you, “You’re okay. You’re not alone. And you’ll get through this.”
One deep, grounded coaching conversation will give you more clarity and emotional strength than months of white-knuckling alone. That’s why these calls exist — to help you flip the “I’m okay” switch again.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
