Should Any Man Be Given This Much Sexual Power Over Women?
Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,
That happens to be famous ad headline used by a writer named Gene Schwartz. He knew how to get attention. And THAT is the very problem I want to talk with you about.
Don’t fall for it. You’re way smarter than that and we both know it.
But you DID fall for it and so have I. I’ve opened many emails with titles like this too many times.
Why?
Because I’ve got the same “wiring” as you. Our brains can trick us into believing that the best barometer of the happiness and health of our relationships is how much sex we have.
- How to Make Her WANT YOU 7 Days a Week!!
- 3 SIMPLE Secrets to Having Incredible Married Sex
- 7 Days to Make Your Wife INSATIABLE!
- 6 Steps to a Highly Sexual Marriage
- Nympho Wife as Easy as 1-2-3!
They are almost irresistible, aren’t they? These articles are all over the place and they are PREYING on your instinct and false belief that solving your sex problems is the only thing you need to do.
But, as most any professional article on relationship health will tell you, a lack of intimacy is only a symptom of other things going on in your relationship.
And most of those articles will try to give you more “secrets” about fixing those other things.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Is A Vulnerable Man Attractive?How To Confidently Deal With Infidelity In Your Marriage
You will wear yourself out trying to fix your relationship by reading list after list of these secrets.
Why I Don’t Use Simple Sex Solutions to Attract Clients
I don’t use sex as a sales gimmick for 4 reasons
- You’re smarter than that and you deserve more respect.
- I’ll attract mostly low quality horn dogs for clients.
- It would be a “Bait and Switch” game you don’t need to play.
- Your relationship health and happiness does NOT START with fixing the sex problem.
Do I talk about sex and its importance? Yes!
Do I use direct and sensual language to get your attention? Yes!
Do I try to connect with you on the notion that sex is important? Yes!
I do all this because it is critical you know and feel without a doubt that I get you.
I understand the canyon of frustration and self-doubt we have over sex.
I understand the drought of intimacy your fear may last for the rest of your life.
I don’t sell sex as a solution because, on its own, sex has no chance in hell of helping you feel better, stronger, or more confident about the rest of your life.
In fact:
What Now – Another List of Secrets?
Nope.
Here’s the truth for both men and women. These are the plain spoken reasons men and women most commonly experience a loss of emotional intimacy and physical attraction in their relationship.
None of these can be fixed with a list of “secret” things to do.
- Uncontrolled and misunderstood anger
- Resentment and game playing
- Fear, insecurity, and blame
- Low expectations of self and others
- Poor communication and conflict management skills
- Unresolved childhood trauma
- Physical health, fitness, and body image issues
- Lack of trust and respect
- Inability to empathize and forgive
- No respect for boundaries and healthy behavior
- Poor personal hygiene and disgusting habits
- No accountability for personal growth and learning
- No self-respect or self-awareness
- No PLAN TO DIRECTLY ADDRESS ANY OF THE ABOVE
At least ONE of these issues (usually more) preceded your issues with intimacy.
How do I know this?
Because nearly 100% of the people I talk to can fondly remember when closeness and sex used to be so easy, so natural, and so FREQUENT. Not one of the issues listed above was even close to being a reality in their relationship.
Now, a few years down the road, both partners remember the old days and crave those feelings.
So you start clicking on articles that promise to fix their sex lives with simple secrets.
And it’s clear why.
It is SO much easier than facing the truth.
Believing in Secrets is Easier than Facing the Truth – Or Is It?
No. It isn’t.
Facing the truth is more like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurts just for a little bit at first, but then you are incredibly relieved that it is FINALLY gone. You can finally move forward.
Facing the cold, hard truth about your part in your relationship is the most liberating feeling you will ever have. It sets you up for success and gives you striking clarity about what to do next.
Messing around with your sex life problems by reading articles, talking to friends, blaming others, and living in misery is the worst form of self-help hell. You end convincing yourself that you’ve done all you could possibly do.
The only possible option is divorce. Right?
Probably not. At least not until you have stepped up to admit that you’ve been believing your own B.S. and haven’t truly started thinking, doing, or saying anything substantially different than you have for the past 10 years.
You owe it to yourself to explore other options.
You owe it to yourself to use this time to learn and grow.
Will it save your marriage and your sex life?
First things first.
Let’s work on saving YOU from YOU first. It’s your very best chance to improve both.
And I happen to be really good at helping you see that and ACT on that.
Powerful, personal, and wise coaching is your single best way for you to make the shift needed to change your life.
Grab a cup of something and your phone and let’s plan a lengthy chat about your side of the story.
Who else do you trust to listen to and understand every word you’ve got to say?
I guarantee that you will learn something you did not know.
Email me today at steve@workplace.goodguys2greatmen.com to set up your first step.
P.S. Yes, I coach BOTH men and women. It’s probably best you keep this under your hat for at least our first call. I’ll explain why when we talk.
To Better Life and Love,
Steve
Q: Why doesn’t fixing our sex life fix the real problems in my marriage?
A: Because a lack of intimacy is usually a symptom, not the cause. If you ignore anger, resentment, insecurity, poor communication, and low self-respect, you’re just putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. Real relationship health starts with you becoming a stronger, more confident man first.
Q: How do I figure out what’s really causing the loss of intimacy and attraction?
A: Get brutally honest. Look at uncontrolled anger, game playing, blame, unresolved trauma, health issues, poor conflict skills, and weak boundaries. At least one of these existed before your intimacy struggles. That’s where the real work—and real change—begins.
Q: What to do when my wife doesn’t want sex anymore and I feel rejected?
A: Stop chasing “simple sex secrets.” Instead, look at how you’re showing up—your self-respect, empathy, accountability, and daily habits. When you raise your own expectations of yourself, emotional intimacy has room to grow again, and physical attraction naturally follows.
Q: Why is it so hard to stop believing quick-fix sex advice and face the truth?
A: Because believing in shortcuts is easier than admitting you’ve been believing your own B.S. Facing the truth stings, like ripping off a Band-Aid, but it’s freeing. Owning your fear, insecurity, and lack of a plan is the doorway to genuine confidence and real connection.
Q: What should I do when I feel like divorce is my only option?
A: Before you pull the plug, ask if you’ve actually done anything new in the last 10 years. You owe it to yourself to grow in self-awareness, accountability, and emotional leadership. Saving you from you is your best chance to save the marriage—and your sanity.
Q: How can coaching actually help with intimacy and emotional connection?
A: Coaching gives you clarity and direction. We work directly on anger, fear, communication, boundaries, hygiene, and self-awareness—everything that affects intimacy. When you feel better, stronger, and more grounded in the rest of your life, your sex life finally has room to thrive.
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