No Intimacy In Your Marriage Now What?
How’s your intimate life going these days? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 with ten being a passionate and physical inferno of mutual trust and satisfaction. If you gave yourself a rating of 7 or less and you WANT to improve, the cause is probably in your “saddlebag of excuses”. Before you read on, remember, I said I’m assuming you actually WANT to improve.
What exactly do I mean by “intimacy”? It’s different for men and women, but not that much. For men, important demonstrations of intimacy include the gamut of actions and emotions including:
- A kind, affectionate, or supportive word
- Feeling appreciated
- An unexpected non-sexual touch or squeeze while watching TV
- A warm hug and a peck on the cheek without pulling away
- Holding hands or walking arm-in-arm
- Kisses hello and goodbye
- Harder kisses that communicate attraction and desire
- Verbal teasing and foreplay in a fun and sensual way
- Showering together with or without sexual contact
- Privately talking honestly about desires and dreams
- Talking dirty
- Easy, comfortable, relaxed love making
- Steamy, hot, vigorous love making
How many women would pick one or all of these items as well? The answer is nearly 100%. And if your lady denies it, she’s not a liar – she’s just not comfortable admitting it to you. The truth is that for most women, there IS a man with whom they would like to admit it. This man most often lives in their heads, books, or movies because you’re not that guy….yet. Why, you ask? The answer is in the saddlebag.
What’s in the saddlebag of excuses? These are the excuses that men inevitably blame on their lack of intimacy.
- She’s never in the mood to give me what I need
- She just isn’t attracted to me
- She isn’t a sexual person
- She puts me after everyone else
- She always has a headache
- She won’t even let me kiss or hug her
- She thinks I’m a pervert when I touch her
The common denominator in the saddlebag is obvious. Many men choose to believe that the ENTIRE issue lies with HER. She is to blame for what they are not *getting*. Use your brain, man. Remember statistics? It is not even mathematically possible that the issue is hers 100% of the time. And remember, she is NOT THAT WAY with the guy in her head…ever. Trust me.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How To Stop The State Of Your Marriage Overwhelming YouWhere the Hell Did My Confidence Go? (Maybe you never really had it)
I don’t like it when people say, “Trust me”, but on this topic – trust me.
So, what’s the secret? What is it that you need to DO to compete with and eventually become the man in her head? The secrets are revealed in “The 5 Secrets of an Unhappy Wife”. To see it, just fill out the form in the right hand sidebar to request YOUR FREE COPY of this report.
As you will find out in the report, the SECRET has nothing to do with what you need to DO, in fact, that’s part of the problem. It has to do with who you need to BE. THAT guy has no trouble doing the right things naturally and becoming the new guy in her head.
Learning to be that guy is about as simple as joining a gym to get in shape. It’s all a matter of committing to what is important to you. I would hope your marriage is as important as your gym membership.
After you read the report, I need you to do two things.
- Post your comments or questions right here
- Contact me to talk – no charge. There is so much more you need to understand.
Q: Why does my intimacy rating matter so much?
A: Because it tells the truth you’ve been avoiding. Anything below a 7 means the emotional and physical connection in your relationship has been sliding for a while — and it won’t magically fix itself. Your score is feedback, not failure.
Q: Isn’t intimacy mostly about sex for men?
A: No. You crave the whole spectrum — affection, appreciation, touch, flirting, emotional connection, sensual tension, and both slow AND passionate lovemaking. You just forgot to admit that out loud. And women want all of this too… with a man who makes them feel something again.
Q: Why do I keep blaming her for our lack of intimacy?
A: Because it feels easier than looking in the mirror. It’s easier to say she’s cold, tired, stressed, uninterested, or “not sexual”… than to ask yourself the harder question: Have I become the man she naturally responds to? Blame is just a saddlebag full of excuses.
Q: What’s this “man in her head” you keep talking about?
A: Every woman has one. He’s the man she willingly melts for in books, movies, fantasies, and memories. He’s confident, grounded, playful, attuned, masculine, and emotionally safe. The good news? She wanted that to be you. The better news? It still can be.
Q: So what’s the real secret to getting intimacy back?
A: You don’t start by doing more. You start by becoming more. More grounded. More confident. More clear. More masculine in your energy, not your muscles. When you shift who you ARE, the right actions come naturally — and she feels the difference immediately.
Q: Can a man really change this without her participating?
A: Yes. And that’s the part most men don’t want to hear. Intimacy improves when YOU upgrade your character, your presence, your boundaries, your leadership, and your emotional energy. When you become the man she can trust again, attraction grows without you chasing it.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
More related articles for you:
The Romance Killing Conversation You Must Stop Dead in its TracksWhy Trying to Make Your Critical Wife Happy Never Works
Attracting Your Wife Back – How You Handle Difficult Conversations
How To Get More Touch From Your Wife
No Sex Marriage? Become a Husband With His Confident Swagger Back
