My Wife Loves The Dog More Than Me – Why?
Does your wife love the dog more than you? Does it drive you crazy? In this article we discuss why she does that, why it pisses you off and what to do about it…
Have you ever uttered these words under your breath?
“Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He’s getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I’ve gotten in two months. “
Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I’m talking about.
If you’ve ever been in that cold, dark, barren “friend zone” with your wife you know what I mean.
It’s that constant feeling of rejection and emptiness…just hoping for one little show of attention or affection. And when you see her happily give it to anyone or anything but you the downward spiral of anger and resentment starts.
Damn dog. What’s he have that you don’t have?
Brace yourself. This hurt me too when I realized it.
That damn dog had more of a life than I did.
Does your dog have a more interesting and satisfying life than you?
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If so, that’s why it’s so easy for her to give him all the affection she wants. He’s already good. He loves the attention, but it’s not the only thing on his mind for the day. There’s zero risk that he’s going to demand more from her.
Watch this quick video to find out what I’m talking about.
Have you ever seen a woman get all baby-talky and googoo eyed and gooshy mooshy with a dog, rub it’s belly, kiss all over it and just love it to death?
And have you ever been in a mood where you said to yourself “This is bullshit. This dog is getting more attention than I do.”
How can she be so happy, so loose and so relaxed with the dog and yet I don’t get any of that?
Have you ever thought that before?
If you’re feeling starved for affection, attention or any type of appreciation, closeness or intimacy with your romantic partner and you see her giving it to everybody but you, you ask yourself why.
Usually this is because she is giving her attention to places and things and people that are safer than you are.
What I mean by safer is that she can pet the dog, rub the dog and love the dog because she knows that the dog has a life. Then the dog will get up and walk away, lick it’s balls, run around, find a bone, chew something, roll on it’s back, sleep or whatever – the dog has a lot of things to do besides getting loved on by her.
BUT, when we’re in that position of feeling empty and we need touch, we want attention, affection, appreciation or intimacy, what happens is that the ONLY energy we give off is one of neediness.
I need you to touch me.
I need you to love me.
I need you to kiss me.
If you do that then I’ll relax.
And then I’ll get even CLOSER.
Which highlights the fear that a lot of women have. That if they show us any appreciation when we’re in that needy mode, we’re just going to hold on tighter and expect more and more and more.
It’s like a cup with a hole in it. When you start filling it, it just keeps draining out and you can never top it off.
If a woman feels that there’s no amount of attention, affection or intimacy that she can give you that’s going to fill you up…she won’t even start.
She’ll certainly find other places to give it.
Like the dog.
“You’ll never be more approachable and attractive as when you appear to others as loving your own life.” ~ Me
This is true at work. It’s true when making friends. It’s true when building a business.
And it’s true in your committed relationship.
However, many of us begin to use our committed relationship and partner as our safe house for whining, complaining and begging for attention. It’s a place where we play smaller and it begins to be the only “life” we can imagine.
No wonder so many of us men become unhappy, clingy, needy shells of the man we used to be. And no wonder we can end up resenting the damn dog for having more game than we do!
What’s the answer to getting a life BIGGER than your dog?
Make a decision to take care of yourself.
Most men don’t even know what that means. They don’t prioritize their health, their desires, their passions or their dreams.
Most men are too busy operating to someone else’s agenda for what it means to be a “good guy” and are getting exhausted trying to please everyone but themselves.
What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail? What interest and passion have you put on the back burner? What new skill or adventure have you talked yourself out of every year for the last ten years?
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Q: Why does it feel like my wife gives the dog more affection than she gives me?
A: Because the dog feels safe to her. He enjoys affection, but he doesn’t depend on it to feel whole. He has a life — he explores, naps, wanders, plays. There’s zero fear that giving him attention will trigger neediness, pressure, or expectations. When a man feels empty, disconnected, and craving affection, his energy becomes hungry and heavy. She senses that, and it’s emotionally safer to pour love into the dog than into someone who might cling tighter the moment he gets a little warmth.
Q: Why does her loving the dog piss me off so much?
A: Because it exposes a painful truth — you’re starving for affection and she’s giving it somewhere else. That triggers rejection, shame, and resentment. But the deeper anger usually comes from seeing the dog embody qualities you’ve lost: playfulness, independence, curiosity, fun. The dog has a life. You’ve been living inside a “relationship vacuum,” waiting for her to fill you up. That imbalance is what hurts the most.
Q: What does it mean when she says I feel “too needy”?
A: Neediness isn’t about wanting affection — it’s about depending on her affection for your emotional survival. It’s the energetic message of, “If you touch me, I’ll cling tighter. If you show me love, I’ll need more.” That pressure shuts down attraction. A woman won’t pour water into a cup with a hole in it. If she believes nothing she gives will ever be enough, she won’t even start.
Q: Why is she more relaxed, playful, and affectionate with the dog than with me?
A: Because the dog doesn’t interpret her affection as a promise of more. The dog doesn’t track “how long it’s been,” doesn’t pout, doesn’t keep score, doesn’t interpret touch as commitment, and doesn’t need affection to validate his worth. When a man’s entire emotional world shrinks down to his relationship, he stops being fun and becomes heavy. That kills softness, humor, flirtation, and affection — all the things she gives the dog without thinking.
Q: What’s the real reason I feel so emotionally empty around her?
A: Because you stopped taking care of yourself. You abandoned your passions, your health, your curiosity, your sense of adventure. You’ve been living on her emotional oxygen instead of generating your own. The more you shrink your life, the more you depend on her to fill the void — and the more she backs away. Emotional starvation creates neediness. Self-sourced fulfillment creates magnetism.
Q: How do I change this dynamic without begging for affection?
A: Build a life that’s bigger than your relationship. Get fed by things outside your wife: hobbies, challenges, skills, friendships, fitness, passions. Become a man who is lit up by his own journey instead of drained by his emptiness. When you love your life, you become lighter, more playful, more confident… and paradoxically, more attractive. The dog isn’t beating you — he’s modeling the freedom and fullness you’ve forgotten.
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