Is Your Wife Never In The Mood For Sex?
Is your wife never in the mood for sex? Most of us men believe that we just need to be better at “turning her on”, but What if I told you that’s not the answer? In this article I address the root issue that creates a more connected, passionate and sexual relationship.
I saw this question in one of our secret Facebook groups today.
An unsatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled husband expressed his desire to make his wife turned on for him. He wanted a great sex life with her! (who doesn’t, right?)
Then another man in the group answered with a simple question.
Do You Want A Great Sex Life Or A Great Life That Includes Sex?
Sometimes a powerful question is more important than a powerful answer.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Do You Have This Annoying Unattractive Habit?Unlocking Your Wife’s Sex Drive
It points to a very simple “punch in the nose” reality. This is a punch that keeps coming back for more every time we forget this simple truth. (and boy is my nose sore)
Unsatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled men don’t have much sex.
And it’s common for us to believe that if she only had more desire and passion for us everything would be better.
As I explain in this video, we can never get enough of what we don’t really need to be happy. (even $1000 worth of sex)
Being a satisfied, happy, fulfilled man is a place we must learn to come from.
Do You Want Great Sex or a Great Life That Includes Sex?
Here’s another punch in the nose.
We Have No Business Griping About A Wife Never In The Mood For Sex If We Aren’t Turned On Within Ourselves
Turn-on is an energy of excitement, enthusiasm and passion for something.
If we lack this turn-on in:
- Our own sense of self-respect, nobody else can be turned on by us.
- Our career or business, our sexual appeal will be lukewarm at best.
- How we parent our kids or engage with our friends and family, how can we expect to turn-on any woman?
TURN-ON is an inside job and it’s the number one variable affecting your wife’s ability to feel turned on by you.
In other words, you must be a man who is more focused on leading a great life that includes sex than one who is simply focused on having a great sex life.
Here’s what a recent member just emailed me recently:
“My wife and I have been married for almost 12 years and for the last two or so we have really be struggling with my anger, depression, anxiety that results from my sexual frustrations and lack of intimacy in our marriage. I am very successful and literally every single thing in my life is great….yet I have fallen into the cycle of letting my validation tank be filled only through sex with my wife. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You for reminding me of who I really am and helping me kill that annoying hummingbird.”
It comes down to a man being able to lead himself to a happy place so she can follow. A wife never in the mood for sex can be a gift. It’s a unique time for a man to get focused on what he needs to do with his life so he isn’t putting all his eggs of happiness in her bucket.
More related articles for you:
How To Handle Valentine’s Day When You’re SeparatedHow Can I Save My Marriage? and Why it’s the Wrong Question to Ask
The FASTEST way to get results is with your own personal navigator. Ask for a deep-dive personal consultation to FEEL the power of our coaching process. You will wonder why you’ve been talking to therapists. (We hear that all the time)
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Q: Why is my wife never in the mood for sex no matter what I try?
A: Because sexual attraction isn’t created by techniques—it’s created by energy. If you’re anxious, frustrated, resentful, or seeking validation from sex, she feels that instantly. Women can’t relax into desire when a man is emotionally starving. A turned-on woman requires a turned-on man—not a needy one.
Q: How do I create more desire and passion in my marriage without pressuring her?
A: You focus on creating a life that turns you on. Passion, confidence, fulfillment, and enthusiasm are contagious. When you lead a great life—one that includes sex but isn’t dependent on it—your energy becomes magnetic. Women naturally gravitate toward the man who is lit up from the inside.
Q: What does it mean when you say “turn-on is an inside job”?
A: It means your excitement for life, purpose, hobbies, parenting, friendships, and self-respect is what fuels sexual polarity. If you’re bored, empty, or disconnected from yourself, she can’t feel desire for you. Your turn-on creates her turn-on. It always starts with the man’s internal state.
Q: How do I stop relying on sex for validation or emotional stability?
A: You rebuild your identity from the inside out. Instead of using sex to soothe anxiety or insecurity, you develop purpose, passion, and self-respect that make you feel whole. When you stop using your wife’s libido as your emotional oxygen tank, desire can finally breathe again.
Q: What’s the REAL difference between wanting a great sex life and wanting a great life that includes sex?
A: A great sex life is outcome-focused. It’s “When will I get what I want?”
A great life that includes sex is identity-focused. It’s “Who am I becoming?”
The second creates attraction. The first kills it. When you lead yourself powerfully, sex becomes a natural byproduct—not a bargaining chip.
Q: How can my wife being ‘never in the mood’ actually be a gift for me?
A: Because it forces you to stop outsourcing your happiness. This season invites you to grow, evolve, and reclaim the parts of your masculinity you’ve abandoned—purpose, joy, confidence, turn-on, leadership. When you build yourself from the inside, you stop depending on her mood to define your life.
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