Identifying What’s Causing Your Lack Of Motivation
I want to talk with you about your mindset.
It’s everything. And without the proper mindset, well, we’re pretty much screwed in every facet of life.
The wrong mindset can rob you of the future you secretly want. It holds your future hostage until you pay the ransom. It’s a steep price. You must make a decision and a choice to change it – no matter what.
Your mindset can be the negative, self-limiting, self-destructive kind that will make you miserable forever.
Or it can be the positive, self-validating, self-confident kind that will permanently liberate you from depending on others for your happiness.
A huge portion of the male population these days is stuck in the mud of a negative mindset.
They might be frustrated and angry at circumstances they don’t think they can change. Or maybe they blame others in their life for making them feel hopeless or uninspired.
They might believe that only the “lucky” guys are born with confidence, attractiveness and feelings of pride and personal value.
Or they might believe that women “have all the power” when it comes to feeling like a strong man and having the passionate life they crave.
Today I want to give you a very clear reminder that those thoughts are a load of crap.
Absolute myths. But they are what keeps many of us from making the choice to believe and behave differently.
And it’s those thoughts that make us feel like victims who have no control over the outcome of our life and relationships. We might be waiting for work, women or the world to deal us a new hand so we can start a new game.
This is what I know.
This is the only game there is.
We don’t get a new hand to play with.
We have to change the way we SEE the cards we’ve been dealt and realize that it’s only our responses and our decisions that will change how the game goes.
I spent 50 years staring at the cards wondering when I might get some new ones. I thought if I just stayed steady, “nice” and compliant that good things would happen.
I was wrong. It was that mindset that kept me dissatisfied in many jobs. It was that mindset that kept me painfully oblivious to the signs of a woman checking out of a relationship.
Good things cannot come to us until we decide to stop the bad things holding us back.
What are those things for you?
Who are the people in your life who suck life and inspiration out of you?
What places do you go that keep your mindset in a persistent state of negativity?
What things do you buy or bring into your life which have no contribution to your growth or feelings of personal ambition?
And what habits have you adopted that quietly erode your sense of personal power and productivity?
For a lot of men, those questions are too hard to answer. It’s easier to ignore them and turn the TV back on.
But not for you. You’re here because you want to push yourself.
The first step in changing your mindset is to change those things which sap you of personal initiative and ambition. Only then can you create the time and emotional capacity to starting pursuing those things that inspire you to change your mindset and live a more powerful life.
If you’re tired of just reading about this stuff and actually want to accelerate your mindset change, then below are some options for you to get started right away…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why is my mindset the biggest factor in how my life and marriage feel right now?
A: Because mindset shapes meaning. The same situation can feel like a trap or a challenge depending on how you look at it. When your mindset is negative and victim-based, you see problems. When it’s grounded and intentional, you see options. Your world doesn’t change until your perspective does.
Q: What does a negative mindset actually look like in a man’s life?
A: It looks like frustration, blame, and quiet resignation. You tell yourself stories like, “She has all the power,” or “I can’t win no matter what I do.” That mindset keeps you waiting—for her to change, for luck to hit, for life to get easier. But that day never comes. What changes everything is when you decide to.
Q: How do I start shifting my mindset as a man?
A: Start small but deliberate. Audit your life—who drains your energy, what habits numb you, what environments keep you small. Cut one of them loose this week. Replace it with something that strengthens you—reading, movement, a conversation with grounded men. Change your inputs, and your outlook changes naturally.
Q: Why do so many men stay stuck in the same negative loops?
A: Because comfort feels safer than courage. Men often mistake compliance for peace. They think “staying nice” keeps the world from falling apart. But that mindset kills passion and self-respect. Growth requires risk—the willingness to disrupt the old pattern and face the discomfort of doing life differently.
Q: What happens when I finally choose a confident, liberated mindset?
A: You stop waiting for new cards and start playing the hell out of the ones you’ve got. You stop being defined by her moods, your past mistakes, or your fear of rejection. Instead, you become a man who creates—moment by moment—the life, love, and leadership you’ve always wanted.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
More related articles for you:
Men Only: How Your “Dadly Gifts” Can Improve Trust and RespectThe Path From Feeling Anxious and Frustrated to a Calmer, Sexier Man
Why Acting Like a Happily Divorced Man Can Save Your Relationship
The Hardest Decision Ever: Should You Stay…or Should You Go?
My Wife Said I’m Not a Strong Man
