I Hate My Wife But I Still Love Her and Don’t Want to Divorce
I know…you just typed in “I hate my wife” into Google and you feel like crap both for thinking it, feeling it and admitting it. I’ve been where you are brother and it sucks. So here’s a story from one of the men I’ve been coaching who’s in a very similar situation to you too…
Fred was arguing with his wife…again.
He was driving home and thought he would call her to ask if she needed anything from the grocery. He passed the store 10 minutes ago but thought he could turn around a back track.
The call didn’t go as planned.
By the end of it she would call him thoughtless, inconsiderate and disrespectful.
And by the time he arrived home he was worked up into a hot lather and jumped right back into the argument with her.
They both went to bed mad.
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Bad day for Fred.
That was Scene One – Take One.
Scene One – Take Two.
Let’s put James Bond in the drivers seat to play Fred’s role this time. Fred gets to watch from the back seat when James makes the call home.
There is a very different outcome for one very clear reason.
James Bond doesn’t take anything personally.
And THAT is why he never needs to argue. What does he do instead? I tell the whole story in this video.
Don’t Let the “Tough Guy” Image Fool You
The James Bond metaphor has nothing to do with being tough or aggressive.
Quite the contrary.
Men who don’t take everything personally aren’t “tough”. They are mature and cool headed.
And men who refuse to get into silly and unproductive arguments are not aggressive. They are secure and confident.
But it’s not enough to tell a man to just be more mature and cool headed. It’s not enough to remind him to be more secure and confident.
If it was that easy everyone would do it.
The seriously “tough men” are the ones honest enough to admit they still get emotionally triggered.
These guys know that being vulnerable about their insecurities with their partners sometimes makes them want to scream like a 13-year-old boy.
That’s what I call a “tough guy”.
In fact, the smartest, toughest, wisest and happiest men I know are just like you. They read, they share, they give a crap about their brothers and they listen.
They connect with the hearts of others while fearlessly exposing their own. And, oddly, this makes them feel stronger than they have ever been!
I couldn’t be more proud to have them – and you – in this community.
If you want to be more active, involved and connected, you have options.
If you want faster changes in your personal growth, confidence and happiness you have choices. Is it time yet for you to be fearless?
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Q: Why do I feel like I hate my wife right now?
A: Because you’re exhausted from the same emotional loop — giving, arguing, defending, and still feeling unseen. It’s not hate. It’s burnout mixed with helplessness. You’re craving peace, not revenge.
Q: How do I stop getting so triggered by her?
A: Start by doing what Bond does — don’t take it personally. Her words aren’t proof of your worth. They’re signals of her fear and frustration. The moment you stop reacting, you take back your power.
Q: Why does every small thing turn into a fight?
A: Because you’re both protecting egos instead of connection. When your nervous system is on fire, everything sounds like an attack. The fix isn’t better arguments — it’s better self-control.
Q: What does it mean to be a “tough” man in this context?
A: Tough men aren’t the ones who yell louder. They’re the ones who stay grounded when everything around them shakes. Emotional maturity is the new definition of strength.
Q: How can I be more confident and calm like the man in your story?
A: Confidence comes from understanding your emotions instead of running from them. Learn to pause, breathe, and lead with clarity instead of reaction. That’s real masculine control.
Q: What’s the next step if I’m tired of this cycle?
A: Stop going it alone. Join men who are learning the same skills — calm communication, grounded presence, and emotional freedom. Brotherhood is the shortcut to peace.
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