How To Teach Your Wife How You Want To Be Treated
Have you ever heard this quote?
You Teach People How to Treat You
It’s been around since the first caveman got knocked in the head with a club.
He had to figure out how to keep THAT from happening again.
And the idea of “boundaries” was born.
But why do we still suck at defining and enforcing boundaries?
Why do we still complain about “how we’re being treated”?
Simple. We’ve been brainwashed to avoid conflict and to be overly cooperative.
We’ve been TRAINED by our recent “nice guy” (and “nice gal”) ancestors to tolerate bad behavior…to just get along and not rock the boat.
Well, I think that’s a recipe for a crappy life and miserable relationships.
We must take responsibility for how people treat us by standing strong in the standards we expect for ourselves.
In this video I tell the story of a client who took 1 YEAR to teach his wife to stop criticizing and verbally insulting him in front of the kids.
“You Also Reap What You Sow”
That’s another good quote and an important point when it comes to setting boundaries.
We can’t just go around declaring our boundaries and “teaching people how to treat us” if we’re total dicks.
You’re in no position to teach anyone anything until you’ve learned the lessons yourself
In the case of the criticizing wife, if you have been frustrated, argumentative and negative toward her behavior you’re in no condition to start setting boundaries.
You’ll need to slow down and reset yourself while gently bringing up the values you want for BOTH of you to start sharing.
The man in the video story figured this out early on and he stayed patient, clear and proud of how he handled himself. That was the only reason his wife eventually changed her critical behavior toward him.
I want you to become a NINJA at this!
This isn’t a secret trick or even a “tool”.
This is more than a mind set.
This is a LIFESTYLE of calmly knowing who you are, what you believe, what you want and how you’re creating the life and relationship you want.
This is a lifestyle of less drama and less conflict…followed by more connection and more respect.
And when it comes to teaching you how to change yourself and your relationship “lifestyle” there is no better place to learn than with other men who know the way.
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: How do I teach my wife to treat me with more respect?
A: You start by respecting yourself first. Boundaries aren’t rules you give her—they’re standards you live by. When you stop tolerating disrespect and calmly hold your line, people naturally rise to meet the energy you bring.
Q: Why do I keep letting people walk all over me?
A: Because you’ve been trained to avoid conflict. “Being nice” often means betraying yourself. Setting boundaries isn’t aggression—it’s self-respect. The more you tolerate bad behavior, the more it grows. The day you stop explaining and start standing firm, everything changes.
Q: How can I set boundaries without starting a fight?
A: Boundaries don’t have to sound like ultimatums. They sound like clarity. When you calmly explain what you will and won’t accept—without blame or emotion—you teach through example, not control. Calm energy always wins over chaos.
Q: What if my partner doesn’t respect my boundaries?
A: Stay consistent. Boundaries are enforced through behavior, not arguments. If she crosses the line, respond with quiet confidence—not anger. You’re not punishing her—you’re protecting your peace. Over time, consistency earns respect faster than confrontation.
Q: Why do I feel guilty for setting boundaries?
A: Because you were raised to believe peace means compliance. But real peace is built on truth, not tolerance. When you stop apologizing for your needs, you stop living small. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re how you stay honest, grounded, and strong.
Q: How do I know if I’m setting healthy boundaries?
A: Healthy boundaries feel calm, not controlling. You’re not trying to change her—you’re defining how you choose to live. If your tone is kind, your words are clear, and your actions are consistent, you’re leading with integrity. That’s masculine leadership.
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More related articles for you:
Why Your Wife Won’t Give You Affection and What to Do about ItHow To Reconcile A Marriage Headed For Divorce
After All The “Work” You’ve Done…Why Aren’t Things Awesome Yet?
If Your Wife Does This…Your Sex Life Probably Stinks
My Wife is a Feminist and Thinks Masculinity is Toxic
