How To Stop Taking Your Wife’s Reactions Personally
Every single man knows what I’m talking about.
We learn it early in life…around 4th grade or so.
It’s the introduction to the power of female rejection, disapproval or disgust.
I’m no psychologist, but in this case, you don’t need one.
It’s the oldest trick in the book played against the oldest vulnerability in the book.
Her “trick” is to protect herself by getting you to feel ashamed. The wording is important here.
She’s doing it for for herself…not against you.
But boys (and most men) don’t know that.
It feels so personal. So hurtful and so mean.
Here, try it on for size.
- You’re so weird…you’re acting so strange
- You’re so stupid…you’re ugly too
- You’re a pervert…get away from me
- I don’t like you…and nobody really likes you
- You’re such a baby (later turns into “pussy”)
- You’re gross…don’t even look at me that way
- Don’t touch me ever again!
I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard all of those in my life somewhere between the ages of 8 and 63.
You can’t just ignore it. You can’t just pretend it’s not happening.
But you CAN do something brand new.
It’s a brand new way of thinking about when and WHY this is happening and how a grown man can respond with more confidence, calm, curiosity and playfulness.
Watch this video for more on that.
The Secret Fear That Keeps You On Your Heels
You can’t hide it.
I’ve had the fear. Every man I know deals with the fear.
It’s the fear of LOSING IT ALL.
In the face of female rejection, married men find themselves gripped in the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and bringing the walls crashing down around them.
When faced with female rejection, disapproval or disgust we will instinctively do one or all of these FOUR THINGS.
We will:
- Counter-attack, counter-criticize and/or counter-blame
- Go deadly quiet and pull away and go lick our wounds until she gives in and apologizes (it’s a very long wait)
- Expertly deliver a long, drawn out “Perry Mason Style” defensive argument with evidence that she is wrong…and we’ll keep talking until she either agrees or goes into hiding. (guess which one is most common)
- Quietly stew with teeming anger and contempt for her and begin calculating the real cost of being a single father. (Divorce math, I call it)
We do these things because we are AFRAID.
And she knows we’re afraid. And THAT makes HER more afraid.
If I had to summarize the bottom-line benefit men get from Goodguys2Greatmen coaching it’s this.
We help you realize that you’re not actually “afraid”. You just THINK you are.
We expose the truth about male shame, male fear and male insecurity and help you permanently cure them. And THEN we help you have the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
Confident, Calm, Curious and Playful?
I know you know this.
ANYTHING you’ve approached in life with a confident, calm, curious and playful manner always turned out pretty damn good.
Why not do it with your relationship with a woman, brother?
All you have to do is lose the fear.
I believe FEAR of divorce is the #1 cause of divorce.
It makes you think, say and do all the wrong things.
So why not learn how to become the opposite of fear?
Are you ready to learn this stuff before another decade passes?
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Ready to join us?
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why does female rejection sting so deeply for men?
A: Because it hits the oldest wound we carry—shame. From the time we were boys, we learned that disapproval from a woman meant we weren’t “enough.” It’s not that she’s attacking you—it’s that she’s protecting herself. But when you take it personally, you hand over your power and start living scared instead of grounded.
Q: What’s really happening when she shows disgust, disapproval, or rejection?
A: She’s trying to feel safe again. Her reaction isn’t a verdict on your worth—it’s a reflection of her emotional state. When you can see that clearly, you stop defending or retreating. You meet her energy with calm curiosity instead of fear, and that shifts everything.
Q: Why do men react so badly when they feel rejected?
A: Because fear hijacks the wheel. We attack, withdraw, over-explain, or silently stew. All four reactions come from the same place—terror of losing love, family, or control. But none of those responses make her feel safe. They only prove that fear is running your life.
Q: How does fear destroy a marriage?
A: Fear of divorce creates the very behavior that leads to divorce. It makes you defensive, clingy, or resentful. You stop being playful and start performing. When your energy is fearful, she can’t relax around you. Confidence—not control—is what restores connection.
Q: What’s the antidote to fear in relationships?
A: Four words: confident, calm, curious, playful. That’s the energy of a man who’s free from shame. He doesn’t flinch at rejection or rush to fix it. He breathes, observes, and responds from strength. And that’s when attraction, respect, and connection start flowing again.
Q: How can I stop living in fear of losing her?
A: By remembering this truth—you can’t lose what’s real. You only lose what was built on fear. When you stop trying to avoid pain and start standing firm in who you are, you become unshakeable. That’s when love becomes possible again.
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