How To Stop Feeling Anxious About Your Marriage
Sometimes we get our best ideas at the most awkward times…like on the toilet.
There I was, reading an old issue of Rolling Stones magazine and an interview with the late Glenn Frey of the band The Eagles. My favorite band of all time, by the way.
Anyway, I read a quote he made during an interview and it gave me a flash of insight – an idea – and there was no pen in sight.
The interviewer commented how amazing it was that the band could so closely reproduce in live concert the perfect vocal harmonies and instrumentation they achieved on their records.
Glenn said, “Yeah, with so many variables you can’t control everything…but we do control everything we can. It’s good knowing the worst we’ll ever be is great.”
I love that! The worst we’ll ever be is great.
That’s going to be the title of my next book.
“The Worst You’ll Ever Be Is Great”
Subtitle: “How to be consistently calm, confident and happy by controlling the only thing that really matters.”
I made this fake cover just to tell “the universe” I’m freakin’ serious about this. Sometime you gotta do stuff like that when you’re inspired and need to make yourself commit to action.
The book will be about the critical importance of seeing yourself as the commander of your own thoughts and responses to negative circumstances. It will also explain how to achieve true “outcome independence” without being a total ass.
That’s actually all the control you will ever need.
Once a man get this, he sees EXTERNAL VARIABLES as just that – things he can’t control, therefore, he is free to LET THEM GO.
More about that in this video.
It’s the path from feeling like a victim to being a creator of your own reality.
I’ve got about 1000 quotes from guys like you to add in the book.
Like this one that came in yesterday:
“I absolutely crushed a job interview for a position in D.C. I was confident, well-spoken and relaxed as I handled every curve ball they threw at me and never stuttered, stumbled or flinched. It felt like the old me busting through and I would be surprised if an offer doesn’t come next week. I’m excited about it because it’s a chance to go back to my playground and do what I do best! I’m more confident than ever, Steve, and whatever happens with this I know it’s going to be fine.”
There is no reason whatsoever, no matter how you feel now and no matter what ANYONE else says or does…that you can’t achieve this level of confidence, happiness and optimism about your current state AND your future.
It all starts with owning your thoughts and your responses.
You can only LEARN this stuff from other men who have gone before you. All you have to do is get inspired and then commit to taking action.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: What does “The worst you’ll ever be is great” actually mean?
A: It means that when you focus on controlling your thoughts and reactions—not other people or outcomes—you can’t lose. Even on your worst day, you’re grounded, present, and capable. Confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency under pressure.
Q: How can I stay calm when everything around me feels out of control?
A: Stop chasing variables you can’t control. The only true control you have is over your mindset and response. When you master that, chaos becomes background noise. Calmness isn’t built in the absence of stress—it’s built by staying centered in it.
Q: What is “outcome independence,” and why does it matter for men?
A: Outcome independence means you care deeply but aren’t desperate for results. You give your best without hinging your worth on how things turn out. That’s freedom. A confident man leads with purpose, not fear of loss.
Q: How do I rebuild confidence after setbacks in work or relationships?
A: Start by proving to yourself that you follow through. Confidence grows every time you keep your word—to yourself. Whether it’s a job interview, a tough conversation, or a personal goal, act from integrity, not insecurity. That’s real masculine confidence.
Q: Why do so many men struggle with feeling powerless?
A: Because they confuse control with certainty. You’ll never control everything—but you can command how you think, speak, and show up. Power returns the moment you stop reacting to life and start creating from within it.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
