Her Foul Moods: How the Superior Man Responds
Here’s the question I got again this week.
“Hey Steve, what am I supposed to do when she gives my that tone of voice that pretty much says FUCK YOU. You know, it comes with that foul mood and snarky voice that tells you she’s pissed about something or someone and you don’t have a clue why? It’s so freakin’ annoying, disrespectful, and honestly, hurtful as hell. How do I tell her how I feel and to stop doing it?”
My answer includes part of what David Deida writes in his book, “The Way of the Superior Man”. I’ve recommended that before and will again. It’s an important read for you. He writes:
“When a woman gets emotionally intense, a mediocre man wants to calm her down and discuss it, or leave and come back later when she is ‘sane’. A superior man penetrates her mood with imperturbable love and unwavering consciousness. If she still refuses to live more fully in love, after a time, he lets her go”.
The problem with books like his and statements like this is that a regular guy has trouble deciphering EXACTLY what it means to him and his situation. It’s hard to translate those sentences into something that YOU can actually use.
That’s where I come in and help you directly with the exact situation you have. If you haven’t felt what it’s like to talk to a guy who help lead you through this and make you INSTANTLY feel better and in more control of yourself, it’s time you called or emailed me.
In the case above I advise that you really understand ONE THING first.
This is NOT about YOU. It is about her and how she is feeling at this very moment. Her feelings are true. They are real.
But, they are NOT your feelings, your creation, or your fault – no matter what she says.
Knowing this at your core will help you to:
1. Not take it personally at all and NOT get pissed.
2. Look her straight in the eye and into her heart.
3. Listen. Just listen. Don’t retaliate. Don’t argue.
4. Not ask her ANY questions.
5. Depending on the issue I would coach you to:
* Just hold her or kiss her gently
* Make a clear and loving statement about her behavior toward you and your values
for the relationship
* Give her a hug and reassurance
* Do something playful to break the tension while reminding her that you KNOW
she is better than she is treating you
This frame of mind , strength, and skill will begin to change the energy and her reactions toward you. She NEEDS to know that you will not over-react to her emotions and can experience her moods without getting so RATTLED.
The most supportive, loving, understanding, attractive, and DESIRABLE energy you can respond with is an energy of strength and unconditional love WRAPPED with your spirit of unflappable confidence that her moods CAN NOT ruin your day or your life.
This is absolutely doable on your part.
You need support. I know it sounds hard,
It’s not. It’s a PROCESS. And you can do it.
Other articles you may find helpful:
It’s Not About The NailWhat To Do When Your Wife Is Contemplating Divorce
It takes practice.
It’s the FRAME you need in ALL areas of your life.
It will change everything.
Deep breath, brother. Your good is coming.
Sign up for a 3 session package to get started HERE.
You’ll get your “mojo” back. That feeling that you’re in control of your destiny.
You will have ZERO regrets just like every man I meet.
Q: What do I do when my wife speaks to me in a snarky or disrespectful tone?
A: First, don’t take the bait. Her tone isn’t about you — it’s about her current emotional storm. When you stop taking her moods personally, you stop reacting and start leading. Look her in the eyes, stay grounded, listen, and respond with calm strength instead of defensiveness.
Q: Why does her mood swing or angry tone affect me so much?
A: Because you’ve been conditioned to believe her emotions are your responsibility. They’re not. Once you understand her feelings are real but not yours to fix or absorb, you’ll stop getting rattled. That shift alone creates a more attractive, unshakeable energy in you.
Q: How do I talk to her about her disrespect without starting another fight?
A: Not with logic, lectures, or “we need to talk.” You set boundaries through calm masculine presence, not debate. A clear, loving statement like, “I care about you, but I won’t engage with you when you speak to me like this,” lands better when your energy is steady, warm, and unthreatened.
Q: What should I do when I feel insulted or blindsided by her attitude?
A: Breathe first. Let the sting pass. Then meet her where she is emotionally, not intellectually. Sometimes she needs a hug, a kiss, silence, or playful reassurance — not a counterattack. This is what Deida meant by “penetrating her mood with love.” It’s emotional leadership, not passivity.
Q: Why does staying calm and not reacting make her more attracted to me?
A: Because women feel a man’s emotional stability as safety, and safety is the birthplace of desire. When you show her that her mood cannot shake your center, you become more trustworthy, more grounded, and more desirable. That’s the “unflappable confidence” she’s been craving.
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