How To Not Let Your Struggling Marriage Ruin Fathers Day
If you’re living in a struggling marriage, events like fathers day, mothers day, anniversaries all become high pressured and potentially explosive. So how can you avoid the conflict and create a fun, happy day for everyone?
Further down, I list 5 fatherly gifts that make you a highly valuable dad. These gifts are yours to own especially when facing Father’s Day. Make sure to click the links at the bottom for more info on how to expand your friendships with other great fathers.
Leading Father’s Day When In A Struggling Marriage
Father’s day can be a very tough day for dads who are going through a marriage crisis.
Even if you don’t have kids, it can still be very hard if you don’t have a close relationship with your own father. It can bring up all kinds of painful memories.
And if things are particularly difficult between you and your runaway wife, just the logistics of spending time with your kids can be stressful.
Worst of all, the feelings of sorrow, grief, guilt, and anger can come on strong when you think thoughts like “this is not how it’s supposed to be!”
On one hand, Father’s Day is “just another day.” Sometimes recognizing that is the best way to get through it. The truth is, when you have children, EVERY DAY is father’s day (and mother’s day too.)
So why not just ignore it? Good question.
Because Father’s Day is not for you. It’s for your children. It gives them a chance to acknowledge to themselves (and to you) on one day, just how important your presence in their lives is EVERY DAY.
And it’s yet another chance for you to show them how a great dad behaves, loves, and cares.
Other articles you may find helpful:
4 Late-Stage Walkaway Wife Syndrome BehaviorsMy Wife Moved Out How Can I be Happy Again?
Knowing Your Value As A Father
Here are five reminders of the value your full involvement has for your children:
- Consistently being in your children’s lives, whether in person or phone or zoom, especially when the logistics are challenging, teaches your children that they matter. It show them they are worth the maximum effort, no matter how difficult.
- They know that they have someone to go to when they are struggling, hurting, or confused. And in doing so, you teach them how to be there for others. Your actions have a direct impact on how empathetic and compassionate they become.
- Children learn mostly by watching and absorbing. Your example models to them what a Great Man acts like. When they grow up, your sons will want to emulate that and your daughters will look for that in a partner.
- Studies have shown that children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression. Boys do better in school and girls have higher self-esteem.
- Most importantly, children learn about love first within the parent/child relationship. The ability to give love is directly related to the love we receive, especially during childhood. If children feel authentically loved by a father they will grow up knowing how to love others.
We recognize that there’s not a lot of conversation and support out there about the specific value of fathers. We are doing our part to rectify that.
We want you to remember that even if it feels like no one is paying attention, there are those who are: your kids.
More related articles for you:
How To Create a More Sexual MarriageThe Simple Truth To More Sex In Your Marriage
They are waiting for your phone call, watching out the window, looking for your car, counting the days until they get to spend time with you. They don’t need special gifts or trips to Disneyland. What they crave is your attention, your unwavering love, and your calm, kind, and loving consistency.
So here’s to you Great Fathers and Great Sons. Don’t forget when facing Fathers Day you are a highly valuable, treasured man to your kids, and you to your own father.
Join A Community of Great Fathers
There are a lot of fathers in the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb community. There are many ongoing topics being discussed, including the effect divorce has on children, how to negotiate custody, difficulties in co-parenting, etc etc.
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Q: How do I handle Father’s Day when my marriage is struggling and everything feels high-pressure?
A: Treat Father’s Day as a leadership moment, not a test. When your marriage is struggling, the conflict comes from fear and expectations. Keep it simple. Create a calm, fun environment for your kids. Show them what steadiness looks like, even if your heart is hurting.
Q: Why does Father’s Day feel so painful during a separation or divorce crisis?
A: Because days like this magnify the grief, guilt, and “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be” thoughts. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. When you breathe, slow down, and remember Father’s Day is about your kids—not your marriage—you take back your emotional power.
Q: What should I do when the logistics of seeing my kids on Father’s Day are stressful?
A: Keep the focus on consistency. Whether it’s in person, on the phone, or over Zoom, showing up teaches your kids they matter—no matter how difficult things are between you and their mother. That reliability is one of the most valuable fatherly gifts you can give them.
Q: How can I avoid conflict with my wife on Father’s Day when emotions are already high?
A: Lead with calm boundaries and zero drama. Don’t push for the perfect day or fall into old arguments. Keep communication polite, brief, and child-focused. When you stay grounded, you remove the explosive emotional charge and create a happier day for everyone—especially the kids.
Q: How do I know I still matter as a dad when my marriage feels like it’s falling apart?
A: Look at your impact, not your fears. Kids watch everything. When you show empathy, consistency, and presence—even under pressure—you’re shaping who they become. Your sons are learning how a great man behaves. Your daughters are learning what a healthy, loving man looks like.
Q: What’s the best way to show my kids love on Father’s Day without big gifts or special plans?
A: Give them the fatherly gifts that matter: your attention, your presence, your calm, your curiosity, and your reliability. Kids don’t crave Disneyland—they crave you. A simple walk, shared meal, or quiet conversation often means more than anything you could buy.
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