How To Have Connected, Playful Relationships
I want to talk with you about living in the kind of life and relationship you really, really want.
That last sentence has a key word in it.
It’s the word “living”.
Note, I didn’t say “getting” the life you want or “having” the life you want.
Those two words imply there is somewhere you must GO to achieve the life you want.
But, what if living that life is a place you come FROM, not a place to get TO?
What if you just DECIDED to start living the life you want right this moment?
What kind of man would you have to BE in order to make that choice?
I know…those last 3 questions are complex and may feel unclear to you.
I’ve had trouble being challenged with the same questions.
It’s because I’ve always thought that a passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual life was something that would happen to me.
It was something outside of me where I would have to go “find” it or it would eventually appear for me.
I’m finding out that is total horse crap. And I know horse crap when I see it.
I’ve learned that we’ve been slowly conditioned to be AFRAID OF BEING passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual men!
But that’s the only power we’ve ever had. We were BORN with those things!
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Nobody has ever taken them away from us. But we have given away the power to own who we are. We are now gripped with fear to BE who we are and live how we want to live.
We seek permission – acceptance – reciprocation – validation. We wait for others to give us what we want instead of just LIVING HOW WE WANT.
I have a simple example that I use to remind myself of how fun life is, all the time.
A Golden Retriever!
These dogs don’t give a shit. They laugh, love, lick and play any damn time they want to – and they NEVER apologize for being a Golden Retriever.
A Golden Retriever does not wait for permission to live an engaged, playful, affectionate life.
He doesn’t hope for happy and fulfilling relationships – he wakes up every day expecting he will have them. He DEMANDS it!
And he is irresistible.
There’s a lesson there for you and I. It hit me today while I was walking outside. It’s the perfect analogy to explain what’s possible for you. So I made this video just for you to explain it further.
I have a 7-Day Challenge for you too at the end – if you choose to accept the mission!
If you’ve watched the video, you’ll see why it applies directly to the topic of living the life you want.
I’d love you to contact me and tell me how it feels to grab life by the balls – like a Golden Retriever – making no apologies.
See? You really do have the ability to change your own circumstances anytime you want!
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.
You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.
Q: Why do I keep waiting for my life or relationship to get better instead of actually living the life I want?
A: Because you were conditioned to believe passion, joy, connection, and masculinity are things that “happen to you.” They’re not. The life you want starts with who you’re being, not what you’re getting. When you stop waiting and start living from your values now, everything shifts.
Q: How do I stop seeking permission, acceptance, or validation before I decide to live the way I want?
A: You stop by recognizing that those fears are learned habits—not truth. A man only becomes bold when he stops asking the world for approval and starts owning who he is. Permission doesn’t create freedom; action does. You build confidence by leading your life, not waiting for green lights.
Q: Why am I afraid to be passionate, playful, affectionate, or sexual in my own relationship?
A: Because somewhere along the way you were taught that masculine expression is risky—that you’ll be judged, rejected, or “too much.” But those qualities are your birthright. When you reclaim them, you become alive again. Your partner responds to the man who isn’t scared of his own fire.
Q: How do I start living the life I want right now instead of someday?
A: Decide who you would BE if you were already living that life—confident? playful? intentional? affectionate?—and start being that man today. Action shapes identity. When you show up with purpose instead of waiting for change, you create momentum that transforms every part of your life and relationship.
Q: What does a Golden Retriever have to do with living a better life and marriage?
A: Everything. A Golden Retriever doesn’t wait for permission to be joyful, affectionate, playful, or connected. He just lives from his nature. He assumes life is good. When you live with that same unapologetic enthusiasm—laughing, loving, engaging—your energy becomes irresistible to everyone around you.
Q: What do I do when I feel stuck, afraid, or disconnected from the man I want to be?
A: Start small. Take one bold action a day—one honest conversation, one moment of affection, one risk that feels true to who you are. Courage isn’t a feeling; it’s a practice. When you stop waiting and start living like the man you were born to be, everything else begins to align.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
