How to Become a Fearless Man
Are you looking for help on becoming a fearless man, or becoming a confident man, or overcoming your fears as a man in today’s society and difficult relationship landscape?
The message I have for you today is simple…
Confidence.
Pure, unedited, open-hearted, easy going and unapologetic manly confidence!
It’s what separates those who “happen to the world” and those who “wonder what happened”.
It’s what separates engaged, happy men who live out loud and those who feel stuck in silence and darkness.
It’s what you need to take the next big leap in your life and relationship.
What would you do if you felt fearless?
What would you decide if you didn’t give a f*ck what anyone thought about it?
What if you were SURROUNDED by men like this in your life?
Steve and I are not here to console you or tell you how your childhood screwed you up.
We get what you’re going through because we’ve lived it too and we want to guide you down a different path.
A path that we learned through personal trial and error.
This path is what you’ve been looking for.
I know that’s a bold statement, but I stand by it because we are on a mission and you’re a key part of that mission.
We’re here to create leaders.
Leaders in marriages.
Leaders in parenting.
Leaders in the bedroom.
Leaders in the boardroom.
We want you to know how it feels when you finally step up and declare what you want to experience in this life.
It’s amazing how people respond to a man who unashamedly goes after what he wants.
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“What would you do if you felt fearless?”
Seriously…what would you do?
What would you say that you wanted?
Do you even know?
When we first speak to men they often tell us things like: “I’d like to have a marriage that is less volatile” or “I’d like a family that were more supportive and respectful” or of course the biggie – “I don’t want to be rejected every time I initiate sex or affection!!”
And we say…“OK, and what else?”
Then we hear things like “I want more quality, connected time with my kids” or “I want to see enthusiasm in her eyes when I get home” or “I want a raise and to be listened to at work.”
“OK, and what else…be specific.”
THEN we start getting to the REAL stuff.
“I want to be woken up by her taking me into her mouth.”
“I want my stomach to hurt from laughing too much.”
“I want to sail around the world.”
“I want to be proud of who I’m being in the world.”
And we say “F*ck yes, I want to help you make that happen.”
You see we may be life coaches or mens coaches or masculinity coaches, but really what we are is your guide to becoming a man who happens to the world, not a man who is constantly preparing for the worst so he doesn’t get sh*t on again.
What I know and want to explain to you is that your compass is a few degrees out.
You may believe that you just need to find the right approach, the right combination of kindness and love and THEN everyone will respect you and appreciate all that you do for them.
Just today I spoke with a man who told me “I got up early, drove over to her house, cleared her drive of snow” and all she could say was “Why did you pile it there?” I mean c’mon “WTF!”
Yep, his compass needed a little calibration.
I asked him “Why? Why did you do that?”
And that’s all the recalibration he needed.
“Because I care and that’s what I do for people I care about.”
That’s it.
Nothing more.
The mistake we make is calibrating to what we DO instead of WHO WE ARE.
An easy way to know if your compass needs some calibration…
Answer this question: Who are you as a man?
If you don’t KNOW your answer to that immediately, you need some calibration.
If you’re not clear on your WHY’s, then you’ll be living to other people’s REASONS and then left confused as to WHY you aren’t feeling confident in yourself EVERY DAY.
We want to meet you in person. We want to help you get that compass calibrated so you KNOW without a seconds doubt what action you want to take in every moment and essentially WHY.
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Steve and Dan lead this community with 4 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls three times per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage
Q: I want to feel fearless, but I don’t know where to start. What does a fearless man actually DO?
A: A fearless man doesn’t live without fear — he acts in spite of it. He stops asking “What if I fail?” and starts asking “Who am I choosing to be right now?” Fearless men take the next step even when the outcome is messy, uncertain, or uncomfortable. Their compass isn’t calibrated to approval… it’s calibrated to identity.
Q: Why do I feel confident at work but insecure in my relationship?
A: Because at work your value is clear, your role is defined, and your results are measurable. At home? You’re naked — emotionally naked — and you’re trying to earn approval instead of living from your values. When you don’t know who you are as a man, you will always outsource your confidence to her reaction.
Q: How do I actually stop caring what people think? I know I should, but I can’t.
A: You don’t erase the fear of judgment — you replace it with a stronger allegiance to your own standards. You choose your why so clearly that other people’s opinions become background noise. When a man knows who he is, he doesn’t need validation to move. He moves because it’s who he is.
Q: My wife says I’m “too sensitive” or “too reactive.” How do I become calmer and more grounded?
A: You grow calmness by practicing presence — not perfection. Breathe. Slow down. Lead with curiosity instead of defensiveness. Grounded confidence is a habit, not a personality trait. The more you choose calm action over emotional reactivity, the more your nervous system learns you’re safe, solid, and strong.
Q: Why do I lose confidence when things go wrong in my marriage?
A: Because you’ve been calibrating your confidence to results instead of identity. When intimacy drops, when she’s distant, when you feel rejected — you think it means something about your worth. It doesn’t. Confidence becomes bulletproof when it’s rooted in who you are, not how she responds.
Q: How do I stop overthinking and start taking action?
A: By shifting your focus from “What’s the perfect thing to do?” to “What’s the next thing I’m proud to do?” Confidence grows from action, not analysis. Every small decision aligns your compass. Every courageous move reinforces your identity. You don’t think your way into confidence — you act your way into it.
Q: What does it mean to ‘calibrate my compass’?
A: It means reconnecting with the man you want to be — not the man who avoids conflict, chases approval, or performs for affection. When you calibrate your compass to your values instead of outcomes, you stop being a man who reacts to life and become a man who creates life.
Q: How do I know what I truly want as a man?
A: Slow down. Ask yourself, “If I felt fearless… what would I declare?” Most men bury their desires under decades of responsibility, shame, fear, and self-doubt. Your deeper wants — sexually, relationally, professionally, personally — aren’t wrong. They’re your roadmap. When you voice them, your life opens up.
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Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
