How to Be a Naturally Confident and Attractive Man
The mountain lion speaks to me because he’s the perfect metaphor for cool, calm, confident masculinity.
And he achieves this not by DOING anything in particular…he just IS.
This is what makes him so regal – so magnetic – so attractive.
It’s the mystery of his fierce energy and his quiet resolve. He’s focused and engaged while detached and relaxed at the same time.
He seems entirely self-satisfied and unrattled by drama.
They say “the lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks”.
And a Nigerian proverb says “The roaring lion kills no prey.” He doesn’t over-react. He speaks less and listens more. He responds calmly and does only what is needed.
What is the opposite of the mountain lion?
You guessed it.
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The hummingbird.
Here’s my annual summer video from the hummingbird feeder to explain more.
How do you become naturally confident and attractive like a mountain lion?
First of all you have to become aware of what is NOT natural.
It is NOT natural for you to be in a state of anxiety, fear or defensiveness.
It is NOT natural for you to feel out of control and uncertain.
Sure, those natural emotions we may experience from time to time.
But they are NOT meant to be your default mode. Once you recognize yourself in those states, you can choose to change.
What do you BELIEVE to be your natural default mode?
I believe your natural state is well-being. Your default mode is self-confidence and clarity of purpose. It’s a state of being OKAY at any given moment.
What if you believed that too?
You and I weren’t born mountain lions, but we can simply decide that is who we are meant to be and who we SHALL be.
You are who you say you are.
What have you been telling yourself lately about who you are?
Seriously, answer that. Go to the contact form and tell me what you’ve been thinking about yourself. Then tell me what you would rather be thinking.
This is one of many examples of challenges and exercises we explore in coaching.
And when you do this with other smart men like yourself, you start seeing things you’ve never seen. You feel shifts you’ve never felt.
And you accelerate down a path of transformation so powerful there ain’t no going back. Why? Because you can never “unsee or unlearn” what you’ve learned when your brain flips a switch.
In the Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable we run there are many men just like you, wanting to transform themselves and their relationships into something more connected, more passionate, more loving and where they can truly live to their potential.
This is where you will see and learn things your dad never told you.
It’s where switches in your brain flip so fast and so hard you will know there is no going back to your old way of thinking or being. That’s a promise.
How do you stay calm and confident even when you’re in the middle of rejection or a conflict?
That’s what we help guys understand and start living here at Goodguys2Greatmen. That’s our passion.
The problem most of us have is that we have no men in our lives to talk to about this who get it, have been through it and come out the other side. We’ve got nobody we can trust to give us clear feedback and positive support and guidance.
The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.
Come and join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
The MEXICO MOJO MASTERY retreat for March 2020 is now 50% full! This is an advanced retreat for men who have had one-on-one coaching or have attended other retreats.and we can’t wait to meet up again in Punta Mita at the Hacienda Alegra. Click that link for some mind-blowing pics.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
Q: How do I become more calm, confident, and grounded like the mountain lion?
A: You start by recognizing that anxiety and defensiveness aren’t your natural state—they’re just habits. Mountain lion masculinity is built on presence, patience, and relaxed self-respect. When you stop overreacting and start breathing through pressure, your calmness becomes magnetic.
Q: Why do I feel anxious, fearful, or uncertain instead of naturally confident?
A: Because you’ve forgotten your natural default mode: wellbeing. Confidence is your birthright, not something you earn through perfection. Once you become aware of when you’re in “hummingbird mode”—nervous, frantic, overthinking—you can choose to return to grounded, calm masculinity.
Q: What does “quiet, fierce, mountain lion energy” look like in real life?
A: It looks like speaking less and listening more. It looks like being unrattled by drama and responding only when needed. It’s the mindset of “I’m OK, even if everything around me isn’t.” That combination of stillness and strength makes you naturally attractive.
Q: How do I stop overreacting like a hummingbird in my relationship?
A: Slow down. Pause before responding. Notice your breathing and your body. Overreaction comes from fear and insecurity. When you reconnect to your inner mountain lion—steady, relaxed, self-satisfied—you stop chasing approval and start leading with calm clarity.
Q: Why is being calm and emotionally steady so attractive to women?
A: Because calm confidence signals safety. A woman can only feel affectionate and connected when she feels relaxed in your presence. Mountain lion energy—focused, quiet, consistent—creates a sense of emotional stability she can trust. Neediness and reactivity do the opposite.
Q: How do I rebuild my confidence when I’m stuck in fear, rejection, or conflict?
A: You surround yourself with other grounded men. Confidence grows fast when you’re supported, challenged, and guided by men who’ve walked the same path. That’s how you shift from hummingbird anxiety to mountain lion certainty—through connection, awareness, and daily practice.
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