How To Be A Man That Your Wife Wants To Be Affectionate With
It’s sunrise right now and I’ve got my camera in my hand down at the barn.
It’s a perfectly calm, cool, crisp, gorgeous Colorado morning with the horses. I wish I could share it…and a cup of coffee with you.
I’m connecting with my horses this morning and it reminded me of the #1 Rule for Creating Intimate Connections we always talk about.
It’s so simple…but it’s not easy if you don’t understand it.
Here it is.
Close, intimate connections are the NATURAL OUTCOME between two people where negative PRESSURE is non-existent.
And…
When you remove all negative PRESSURE and replace it with CALM, CONFIDENCE and CURIOSITY, you will become irresistible.
This is precisely what you learn at The Confident Man Ranch Retreat coming up on May 25-28 in Loveland, Colorado. I want you to think about joining us this year, brother.
Some men are afraid to hang out with horses. And some guys are afraid to hang out with other men! Here’s what a guy from last October’s retreat had to say.
“I knew I was hiding out inside of me and I needed to find my mojo. No one ever told me what they saw in me…until I met these men. I wish I had it recorded so I could hear it more often… until it sinks in. I am an incredible, loving, patient, interesting man. Go. You will thank yourself for it, and your presence is a gift for all who attend. You will see for yourself how men can love and care for each other. 10 out of 10!”
I got up early to make this video with the horses to explain this in more detail for you. Use the energy of this video to calmly, confidently and curiously move through your day. Just watch how your connection with others changes when you give off this energy.
A man who knows how to create an environment that is safe for trust and connection will have all the intimacy he needs.
But, most of us were NEVER TAUGHT HOW TO CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.
Instead, we learned how to be wary, skeptical, tentative and fearful.
We learned fearful ways of interacting with women that include pressure, manipulation and begging.
Do you want to learn what your dad never told you?
The Confident Man Ranch Retreat can change your life in ways you won’t believe. You’ll return home with confident spirit, calm energy and a curious mindset. It will not go unnoticed!
This information page has all the details and amazing pictures of what you can expect.
Your private cabin…your personal horse…and an amazing experience are waiting for you.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for things to get better and to start taking action on what you can control, here are some more ways we can help you start changing things today…
$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage – if you need an instant change in how you’re thinking and what you’re feeling Dan and I created our most powerful short course covering the core foundational and fundamental concepts you’ll find hidden within every single self-help book, course or program you’ll ever buy.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: How do I create real intimacy without pressure?
A: You stop trying to “make” connection happen. Intimacy isn’t built through effort—it grows in calm energy. When you lead with confidence, curiosity, and zero need for approval, you create safety. That safety is what opens her heart, not persuasion or pressure.
Q: Why does my wife pull away when I try to get close?
A: Because closeness that comes from fear or pressure doesn’t feel safe. If your energy says, “I need this to work,” she’ll tense up. When your presence says, “I’m calm, curious, and good either way,” she relaxes—and connection becomes effortless.
Q: What does “emotional safety” really mean for a woman?
A: It means she can breathe around you. No judgment. No hidden expectations. When your energy is grounded and accepting, she feels free to open up. Safety isn’t soft—it’s strong leadership without control. That’s the foundation of real intimacy.
Q: How can I stop the tension in my relationship from killing attraction?
A: Remove negative pressure. Most men try to “fix” disconnection, which only creates more of it. Replace pressure with playfulness, curiosity, and calm. When you stop needing connection, you become magnetic again.
Q: Why do horses help men learn about connection?
A: Because horses read your energy better than humans. They won’t come close to tension, control, or neediness—but they’ll follow calm confidence anywhere. It’s the same in relationships. The energy you lead with determines the closeness you create.
Q: What’s the secret to becoming irresistible again?
A: Be the man who no longer needs to prove his worth. Confidence isn’t loud—it’s steady. Curiosity keeps you open. Calm keeps you safe to be around. When those three qualities show up in you, intimacy stops being something you chase—it starts being who you are.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
