How Do I Stop Being An Insecure Husband?
Her phone is going off… Who is she texting? She got home late… Was she out seeing someone? When you didn’t confront your mom, she called you a pussy. Now you’re not sure who is harder to confront… Your mom or her? Being an insecure husband is miserable. You don’t enjoy the feeling any more than she does. I’m going to show you why insecurity loses its grip when your thinking changes.
And guess what? I’m not really interested in your “feelings”.
Yeah, I know being a man is tough. Being in a relationship is tough.
But all of it is tougher when you’re being yanked around by your feelings on a daily basis.
Part of being a mature, confident and clear-headed man is knowing that while your “feelings” are normal and healthy, they are NOT your reality.
Becoming a master of your emotional world demands that you change your relationship with your “feelings”. This means you’re going to have to change your relationship with your “thoughts”.
Here’s the problem:
A nervous, unhappy and insecure husband has a habit of “living the feeling of his thinking”.
This means he allows his random thoughts, beliefs and projections to drive an endless parade of negative emotions.
He feels like he is a passenger in a roller coaster of “feeling” and has no particular agency or responsibility for changing the thinking at the root of his constant anxious, angry and/or unhappy reactions to life.
Is this you? Who else do you know who might be living this reality?
I know. This may sound strange to you.
But this wisdom is thousands of years old!
The most confident, calm, wise, clear headed and HAPPY people in the world are those who have come to terms with their own ability – and responsibility – for changing the WAY THEY THINK about the cards they are dealt every day.
This is why I don’t really want to “talk about your feelings”.
I want to talk about your THINKING!
So I will…in this video.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How To Stop Being Upset By Your Wife50 Reasons to Act More Like a Happily Divorced Man…Today
Here’s something NEW to think which I guarantee will change the way you feel.
Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Your “Feelings”
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~ Sir William Jones
We have dozens of complimentary consultations every month with men who have been afraid of what they are FEELING.
They use words like lonely, scared, rejected, dismissed, ignored, replaced, inadequate, frustrated, uncertain and confused.
We will spend one to two hours speaking with you to help you immediately relax and focus. We demonstrate the power of having a wise mentor in your corner to challenge your emotional roller coaster and to teach you how to do a better job of thinking about your thinking.
This is our favorite reaction.
“Dude, I just got more out of this call than I’ve gotten from 3 years of freakin’ therapy!! Why isn’t anyone telling men this stuff?!”
What stuff?
1. We talk about what’s really happening with your marriage, wife and sex life.
2. We tell you things about being a man your father never told you…and how you’ve been avoiding the most powerful part of being a man.
3. We take you through an exercise to experience the thrill of changing your perspective and HOW YOU’RE THINKING at this very moment.
That’s when you immediately FEEL something different than just an hour earlier.
Yeah. I know. Sounds crazy. I love this stuff and it’s why I can’t stop writing and talking about it. I want that for you too, brother.
Think about it. Perhaps the most courageous, decisive and masculine thing you can do right now is asking for a chat.
Strong men ask for help. Everyone else sits around waiting for something to change.
Feeling like an insecure husband can change! A new mindset can make you calm and secure. Confidence comes from how you THINK about your wife’s actions, not the actions themselves.
Click this link to go to the Contact page on my site.
Fill out the unusually personal questions.
Be honest. Be thorough.
Let us show you something (like a new way of thinking) you didn’t expect.
That’s a promise.
And if you’re on the edge of divorce with threats of leaving or requests for “space” then the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course would be perfect. This course taught by coach Tim Wade and I also has a large, active group of powerful men who support each other on a daily basis. It’s possible that the group interaction is more valuable than the 9 hours of video coaching in the course!
Q: Why am I such an insecure husband every time my wife is on her phone or comes home late?
A: Because you’ve started “living the feeling of your thinking.” Your mind spins stories: she’s cheating, lying, disrespecting you. Those thoughts create fear, not facts. When you learn to question your thoughts instead of worship them, the insecurity loosens its grip and you feel calmer, clearer, and stronger.
Q: How do I stop overthinking everything my wife does and feeling constantly anxious?
A: You stop treating your feelings like reality. Feeling scared or rejected doesn’t automatically mean you’re being betrayed. A mature, confident man slows down and asks, “What else could this mean?” Changing how you think about your wife’s actions changes how you feel about them. Thought first, feeling second.
Q: Why doesn’t talking about my feelings actually make me feel better in my marriage?
A: Because you’re venting the symptoms, not addressing the cause. Your feelings come from your interpretations, not your wife’s behavior. We don’t want to swim in your emotions; we want to examine your thinking. When you see how your thoughts create your pain, you suddenly feel more powerful and less scared.
Q: How can I become a calm, secure husband instead of a jealous, reactive one?
A: By taking responsibility for your mindset. Confident husbands aren’t fearless, they’re disciplined thinkers. They notice their stories (“She must be texting another guy”) and choose a different thought (“I don’t know that—and I refuse to torture myself with guesses”). That mental leadership is what creates calm, secure energy.
Q: What should I do when I feel rejected, dismissed, or replaced by my wife?
A: First, breathe. Don’t react from the storm. Then talk to someone who can challenge your insecure thinking, not just agree with it. A wise mentor or group of men can help you see what’s really happening in your marriage and in your head. New perspective = new emotional experience.
Q: How do I actually start changing my thinking so I’m not ruled by insecurity?
A: You get curious instead of loyal to every anxious thought. You practice choosing one thought over another. And you don’t do it alone. That’s why coaching and communities like the Divorce Bomb course are so powerful—they train you to think like a calm, grounded, confident man again.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
