Creating The Relationship You Want
Many of the men we support are confused about how to go about creating the relationship they want. They are good husbands. Generous, loving, intelligent men. They want genuine affection, and a deeper, more intimate connection.
Being A Man Who Gets To Have Better Relationships
I was at a men’s seminar a few years ago with Alex Allman and Sean Stephenson. These are two very confident, masculine men. Alex is a brilliant coach and looks like your typical 6 foot tall, handsome ladies’ man.
Sean is about 3 feet tall and is confined to a wheelchair with brittle bone disease he’s had since birth.
Sadly, Sean died at age 40 from a head injury. It still gives me chills to think that this awesome human being is no longer here to give his gifts.
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There was a guy in the audience who was getting frustrated and asked the question that most of us have thought about but never asked.
“Why is it so hard to connect with a woman and feel appreciated and get the affection and passion we want in a relationship?”
Sean rolled his wheelchair across the front of the room as he paused to prepare his answer. Then he faced his chair right at the man with the question and calmly said:
“Because you’re not yet the kind of man who gets those things.”
Sonofabitch…that kind of hurt…and I wasn’t even the one who asked. And how did THIS guy get to be such a badass with an amazing life and marriage??
Sean went on over the next hour to explain what he knows about men, women, masculinity, self-confidence, sexual polarity and why it seems so hard to get what we want.
Creating The Relationship You Want
You’ll get what you want when you learn how to be a calm, confident, deliberate and pleased man. It’s only that man who can CREATE what he wants instead of wishing for what he wants.
I get a lot of emails from men wanting to know what they need to DO in order to turn around their marriage. They want to reconnect with their wife or girlfriend. They want to “save their marriage”.
The reason it is so difficult for most men to do this is because they are not yet ready.
They just want to DO something – anything – because they don’t know how to BE.
Little do they know that they need to DO less than they ever thought.
They lack the mental and emotional “fitness”, the clarity and calm confidence they require to say what must be said – to think the thoughts that create confidence – to be an unapologetically passionate man who fully intends to create what he wants.
In this video I talk more about the type of fitness I’m referring to and why it’s so important for you to make this your TOP PRIORITY now.
What Kind of Man Can Save His Marriage?
Mental, Emotional, And Physical Fitness
Just like firefighters, cops and search and rescue experts we need to do the work.
We need to prepare our bodies and minds like they do. We need to have a plan, be clear about what role we play, understand what might go wrong and continuously work to be the best we can be.
We need to put on our own oxygen mask and do our own work before trying to charge into the room and demand change from the people in our lives.
That super calm, secure, clear, confident feeling you want is readily available to you. Those are already inside you.
She can NOT give those to you.
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This is why you must make yourself your top priority…now.
Develop Better Relationships By Taking The Next Step
If you haven’t watched the over 300 laser coaching videos on my website, start there.
Keep reading our blog. We put a lot of actionable content in there you can use immediately to start getting clearer.
If you’re ready to move quickly and accelerate your growth so fast it will make your head spin, then you’re ready for a deep dive coaching discovery call.
This is NOT a 15-minute teaser session. It’s a full blown deep dive coaching session to help you reach your first Ah-Ha! of many to come.
We want to know about your past. We want you to describe the future you want. And we want to help you see how your thoughts, words and actions are holding you back right now.
In other words, this session is designed for YOU to be seen, heard and understood. We will ask you about where you’ve been, where you want to go and what’s happening now in your life and relationship.
You can’t have that conversation in 15 minutes.
Are you ready for that?
Then fill out this application for your call.
Answer the unusually personal questions. Just filling this form out is an exercise that will make you feel better.
Then you’ll be matched up with me, Dan Dore or one of our certified GG2GM coaches around the world.
Then you’ll be contacted quickly to schedule your session.
Grab something to drink. We’re going to be a while.
You’re not yet the kind of man who gets to have better relationships. That’s the hard truth to face. Better relationships will form in your life when you stop “doing” and start “being”. That’s the inspiring step available for you to take.
Q: Why does it feel so hard to get affection, passion, and appreciation from my wife?
A: Because affection isn’t something you get by doing more — it’s something that ensues when you become the kind of man who creates emotional safety, polarity, and clarity. Most guys try strategies instead of identity. When you shift from “doing” to “being,” connection becomes natural again.
Q: What does it mean when you say I’m ‘not yet the kind of man who gets those things’?
A: It means your mindset, emotional fitness, and confidence aren’t aligned with the relationship you want. You’re a good man — loving, intelligent, generous — but you might still be reactive, unsure, insecure, or approval-seeking at home. Becoming the man who creates connection is the missing piece.
Q: How do I start becoming the calm, confident man who can actually turn his marriage around?
A: You develop mental and emotional fitness. Slow down instead of scrambling. Speak truth calmly. Hold boundaries without anger. Know your values. Get clear on who you are and what you want. Confidence grows when you act from intentional standards, not fear, resentment, or confusion.
Q: Why doesn’t “doing more” fix my marriage?
A: Because relationships don’t improve by adding more effort, chores, gifts, or romantic gestures if you’re doing it from anxiety or desperation. Women feel your energy, not your checklist. The powerful shift comes when you DO less but BE more — more grounded, more deliberate, more self-led.
Q: What kind of man actually CAN save his marriage?
A: The man who is emotionally steady, clear-headed, self-respecting, physically energized, and mentally prepared. The man who puts on his own oxygen mask first. Not a fixer. Not a pleaser. A man with a plan, purpose, and personal standards. That man influences his relationship without force.
Q: How do I start becoming that man right now?
A: Start with awareness. Watch the coaching videos. Read the blog. Reflect on who you want to be — not what you want her to do. And if you’re ready to speed up the transformation, book a deep dive coaching call. It’s the fastest way to see your blind spots and step into the man you’re capable of being.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
