Chemistry With Your Wife Or Friendship?
I know you want chemistry with your wife, as well as connection, companionship and friendship. But what if your wife has become your only real friend?
There’s this big ass, 185,000 acre, Cameron Peak fire which has been chasing us all around Colorado. While I’m back home now, my good friends 30 miles south of me have been evacuated and are staying at my place.
It’s really good to have good friendships
How did this fire inspire this article?
In TWO ways.
1st, it’s about having FRIENDS.
Many, many men tell us they have reached the ripe age of 40-ish and, while they have an active work and family life, they have ZERO FRIENDS of the male persuasion.
They are “friendly” men who sometimes claim to be “people persons” but aren’t sure why they have let all of their past friendships die. And they aren’t sure how to develop new friends. They have work, kids and wife duties…but no friends.
It’s especially obvious when we start having relationship or marriage problems that the lack of high-quality male companionship becomes so obvious and scary.
Here’s a difficult realization.
In my case, I was a good “people person” who really wasn’t a very good “friend”.
I would wait for people to reach out…to call me… to invite me…to want to be my friend. Even after we would connect I would always wait for THEM to initiate contact.
I sucked as a friend. I was mostly distracted, self-absorbed and dismissive about the chemistry required for true friendship.
Only later in life did I really become aware of how important it is to send the first email, make the first call and extend the first invitation. I’m still work in progress on that front.
It’s like any skill. It must be practiced. And then you must be consistent. Coach Dennis Collins in my coaching team is one of the best I’ve ever seen at this. He’s so mindful and action-oriented in friendship. As a result, he’s got tons of close friends.
Who is ONE MAN you know who would love to hear from you this weekend? I humbly suggest you reach out and begin a new season of consistency in being a “good friend”.
Other articles you may find helpful:
Do You Secretly Wish Your Marriage Was Over?Creating Connection With Women
2nd, It’s About How Sparks Make BIG Fires
These wildfires always start with a small spark, or sometimes, a big spark of lightning. But it’s always just a little bitty action that gets it going. And like a wicked cancer it slowly multiplies the sparks and then it grows to proportions nobody imagined possible.
We often think that only bad stuff like fire and cancer behave like this.
My insight from the fire is that GOOD STUFF behaves the same way!
For every single man who “does the work” we offer, he finds that his calm, confident, patient sense of well-being and contentment grows steadily.
It’s a wildfire of truth. And that feels really good. One guy in our How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb Facebook group said it this way recently:
“Last night I dreamed I was cycling on a woodland path and facing a huge … almost insurmountable… slope. I looked at my feet, kept peddling and although moving slowly… I was able to cycle UP the slope and reach level ground!! I think that was an accurate description of what I have been doing.”
I want this feeling for you and every man. It’s the feeling of having the most important breakthrough in your life. It’s level ground.
Whatever You’re Facing Right Now Is Surmountable With Slow, Consistent Focus On The RIGHT THOUGHTS And RIGHT ACTIONS.
Chemistry With Your Wife Comes From Your “Spark”
Our expertise is in helping you learn HOW to think and HOW to act in ways that quickly transform your “insides” so you can realize the “outside” life you really want. A life that gives you “spark”.
We do this one man at a time and one day at a time. And before you know…you’ve reached the top.
Becoming the man you want to be starts with a small spark of insight and effort with supportive male friends. That spark is fanned with the flames of self-confidence. Your confidence becomes rooted in a crystal clear declaration of who you are, what you believe, what you want and where you’re going. THOSE behaviors also ignite chemistry with your wife! (as a bonus).
When you’re ready to take your first step, let’s have a looong conversation. Everything good in life starts with a really good conversation. You can submit our Contact Form. This will start the process of connecting with me or one of our certified coaches and having a really good conversation.
Q: Why do I feel like my wife is my only real friend — and why is that so dangerous?
A: Because most men stop nurturing male friendships somewhere in their 30s and 40s. Work, kids, and marriage take over. But when your wife becomes your only source of connection, you lose emotional balance. High-quality male companionship gives you perspective, strength, and support — the very ingredients that create chemistry with your wife.
Q: How do I rebuild male friendships when I feel awkward or out of practice?
A: You start exactly the same way a wildfire starts: with one spark. Send the first text. Make the first call. Extend the first invitation. Friendship is a skill, and like any skill, it grows with consistency. One solid male connection can change your entire emotional landscape — especially during relationship stress.
Q: Why does having good male friends make me more attractive and confident in my marriage?
A: Because your confidence becomes rooted in your life, not in her mood or approval. Male friendships ground you, challenge you, and remind you who you are. That calm, patient, self-assured energy creates natural “spark” and chemistry with your wife. Women feel ignited by men who are supported, centered, and connected.
Q: What small actions can I take to rebuild chemistry with my wife?
A: Start with a spark — clarity, intention, purpose. Work on the right thoughts and the right actions: confidence, consistency, values, boundaries, self-respect. These internal shifts grow just like a fire does: slowly, then suddenly. When you ignite that spark within yourself, attraction follows naturally.
Q: What do I do if I feel overwhelmed, stuck, or hopeless in my marriage right now?
A: Slow down and take the next small, surmountable step. Everything you’re facing becomes manageable when you focus on the right thoughts and the right actions — not the entire mountain at once. Countless men in our community have climbed out of that same emotional slope. One conversation can change your whole direction.
Q: How do I get the confidence and clarity I need to feel like myself again?
A: You get it by talking to people who understand the terrain. That’s why one deep conversation with a coach or a group of grounded men is so powerful. We help you see who you are, what you want, and where you’re going — with honesty and brotherhood. Your spark grows fastest when you don’t walk alone.
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Have questions about your relationship?
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What Your Withdrawn Wife Needs From You But Can’t Ask For
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