Can You Make Your Wife Love You Again?
I love this article from Coach Garrett Prettyman.
He is hitting on all the points that make up the foundation of a calm, clear, confident man.
The challenge for every man is to have his OWN COMPASS…to live from the Inside Out instead of the Outside In.
This means he gets a profound sense of peace from his INTERNAL sense of value, self-respect and mission.
AND…he is able to clear up his own thinking and regulate his own emotional responses because those OUTSIDE forces don’t jack him around anymore!
Coach Garrett and Mark Drezga are starting a new round of this popular and effective program – the Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.
If you identify as the type of man he describes below, I highly recommend to you take the leap and join Garrett and Mark in this course!
Here’s Garrett.
This email explains how we can easily get caught up on surface-level issues in our marriage. Asking if you can make your wife love you again is a surface-level question. We can DO all the right things, but that won’t attract our wife’s loving affection if we’re not BEING the kind of man who makes her feel emotionally safe and trusting. Below are three better questions to ask ourselves. These questions will help uncover underlying issues when our wife seems to have lost interest in us.
1. What Do Women Need To Feel In Love?
A few days ago, Google directed a man to my blog because he had a heartfelt question.
His question was, “Can you make your wife love you again?”
If you’ve ever wondered if your wife can love you again, you know how he must feel.
No doubt his story is much like yours or mine.
He remembers when his wife used to respond affectionately to his touch and smile when he entered the room.
Having an intimate and supportive relationship with her probably inspired him to work hard at his job and remain committed to the relationship.
But over the years, something changed.
A small peck on her cheek seems to annoy her now.
Placing his hand on her leg makes her tense up.
He’s met with excuses when he tries to initiate sex with her.
He hoped this was just a phase but over the months, it has only got worse.
Today, he’s wondering if she will ever love him enough to engage in the intimate, respectful, nurturing relationship he craves to have with her.
Asking if our wife can fall back in love with us is a surface-level question.
A deeper question is, “What do women need to feel in love?”
You see, we can DO all the right things in our relationship but if we make her feel disconnected, pressured, or criticized we can kiss intimacy goodbye.
Without a consistent experience of emotional safety and connection, she won’t feel enough trust to expose her intimate side.
2. What Limits You From Building Connection, Trust, & Emotional Safety With Your Wife?
It’s ironic how we, as guys, tend to answer this question the same.
We tend to focus on what needs to change about HER (like her state of limbo, irrational thinking, or emotional drama).
Another usual response is getting stuck on deciding if the relationship is worth our effort or not.
These common responses send a message to her that we can’t see past our own discomfort to connect with her feelings.
This makes us feel boyish and like a powerless victim to her.
It should go without saying that being a victim or acting boyish isn’t the path to building a better connection with our wife.
Criticizing her moods, arguing, walking on eggshells, and being resentful doesn’t help either.
When we look closer at ourselves, we might find even deeper issues.
Issues such as…
- Feeling like a failure
- Aversion to conflict
- A knee-jerk response to people-please
These deeper personal issues are what we need to focus on to unblock a meaningful emotional connection with our wife.
This connection is critical in a long-term relationship.
Without it, she won’t be able to trust herself to be soft and affectionate towards us.
3. What Is 100% In Your Control Right Now?
There are 3 zones in life.
- What’s out of our control
- What’s under our influence
- What’s in our control
Happiness, confidence, clear boundaries, and mojo only come from staying focused on things 100% in our control.
Our wife’s feelings towards us are under our influence, not under our control.
Whenever I speak to a man who is frustrated, lonely, upset, rejected, or in panic mode, it’s because he’s been focusing on things that are either out of his control or only under his influence.
When I’m coaching a man who doesn’t know what to do next in his relationship (limbo) it’s usually because he hasn’t forged an internal masculine frame that is 100% in his control.
Our confident, masculine frame is our blueprint to follow!
Although this sounds like simple advice, many of us didn’t know HOW to build a masculine frame that is 100% in our control before our marriage called for it.
A Call To Confidence
If we have a blueprint or a “compass” to follow, we will always know how to respond to things like being rejected for sex, marriage limbo, or the uncertainty of her feelings towards us.
Hint: Her timing or clarity of feelings is not a compass.
Last year, a man we’ll call John, joined our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course.
John was down in the dumps.
He and his wife hadn’t had sex in many months.
His wife was unsure if she could continue in their marriage of 25+ years.
6 weeks into the course, everything changed for John!
He learned how to have his own compass to follow even when his wife was withdrawn or emotional.
He learned how to give her emotional space without walking on eggshells around her.
Her passion for him returned and to this day, they are both loving a brand new version of their marriage!
In our Vital Formula To Masculine Confidence Course, we teach you how to forge an internal locus of control.
This means you learn how to respond from the inside out instead of the outside in.
Being this kind of non-reactive man who can be comfortable in his own skin is the only version of yourself your wife can fall back in love with.
The boat is leaving port!!
This is your last week to join the course.
A limited number of seats are still available.
Click HERE to pay and save your spot.
The cost is only two monthly payments of $424.
Registration closes August 3rd and our first session will be August 17th at 5:00 PM Pacific.
We’ll see you in the course!
Q: What’s the #1 rule for creating real intimacy and connection?
A: It’s simple but profound: remove negative pressure. When you stop trying to push, convince, or control—and replace that energy with calm, confidence, and curiosity—people naturally want to connect with you. Intimacy isn’t forced; it emerges in the absence of fear and pressure.
Q: Why do I keep feeling rejected or disconnected when I try to get closer to my wife?
A: Because your approach probably carries pressure—expectations, anxiety, or neediness. Even subtle pressure shuts down emotional safety. The secret is to create space where she feels free, not cornered. When you lead with grounded calm, connection flows back on its own.
Q: What does “negative pressure” look like in a relationship?
A: It’s the invisible tension created by your need for approval, reassurance, or sex. It sounds like “Why don’t you ever…?” or feels like walking on eggshells. It’s your energy saying, “I need something from you to feel okay.” True intimacy begins when you stop needing and start being.
Q: How can horses teach men about intimacy and confidence?
A: Horses mirror energy. If you bring tension, they pull away. If you bring calm, confidence, and curiosity, they trust you instantly. Women work the same way. The Confident Man Ranch Retreat helps men experience this firsthand—how your internal energy creates external connection.
Q: Why is calm confidence so attractive to women (and everyone)?
A: Because it signals safety. A calm man can handle emotion, chaos, and conflict without losing himself. Confidence isn’t loud—it’s steady. Curiosity shows care without control. When you embody those three—calm, confident, curious—you become magnetic.
Q: What can I expect from the Confident Man Ranch Retreat?
A: Four days of clarity, courage, and connection. You’ll work with horses, connect deeply with other men, and learn to live without pressure. You’ll leave with a new kind of strength—quiet, powerful, and unshakably calm. It’s more than a retreat—it’s a reset for your masculine spirit.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
More related articles for you:
Why Your Wife is Not Interested in Sex and AffectionHow To Maintain A Satisfying Sexual Relationship
Sexless Marriage? How to Become Attractive to Your Wife Again
My Wife Said I’m Controlling, What Do I Do Now?
Your Need For Her To Be Happy Is Killing The Passion In Your Marriage
