How To Fix The Unhappiness In Your Marriage With Confidence
I’ve been a Peanuts cartoon fan since I was little. I even had a custom made Peanuts bedspread, pillow case and curtains when I was 9.
I remember waiting for the Sunday paper to read Peanuts in color. I loved the strips where Lucy had her 5-cent psychiatric booth which Charlie Brown couldn’t stay away from. (ended a sentence with a preposition…so what?)
I was talking to my brother today about the notion of “happiness” and how people are having meltdowns left, right and center.
Everyone is a little edgy and you just might hear these words uttered in your direction…
You’re just not making me happy!
Then he reminded me of the old cartoon where Charlie came to an all-too-common conclusion.
Charlie: Why do you think we’re put here on earth, Lucy?
Lucy: To make others happy.
Charlie: I don’t think I’M making anyone very happy. Of course, nobody’s making ME very happy either. SOMEBODY’S NOT DOING HIS JOB!
It’s a childish point of view.
But that doesn’t stop most of us.
Every single time we begin to feel “unhappy” we start looking around outside ourselves for the culprit.
Substitute “happiness” for the words, “appreciated”, “understood”, “respected”, “heard”, “wanted”, “desired”, “connected”…whatever fits.
If you’re looking outside yourself for someone to deliver those to you in an Amazon box you’re in big trouble. That package is going to be late.
Everywhere we go to find those feelings we come up empty. Why?
Because those feelings aren’t a place we can go to…they are a place we must come from.
I know. What the hell does that actually mean in the REAL world?!
You know me. I’m all about the real world. So I went to my barn to make this video to explain it in 4.5 minutes for you.
Why Doesn’t She Treat Me How I Want to be Treated?
Answer: Because you’re not so good at doing that stuff yourself.
I can’t tell how much I resisted this idea. I’m no dummy and I think I had an open and shut case in my marriage.
I was a good person, a good provider, a good friend and I got all kinds of sh*t done. I was funny, not too fat and brushed my teeth AND flossed twice a day.
Yet somehow she failed to see the error in her ways of never giving me quite enough of everything I expected. What? Do I need to floss 3 TIMES a day? I mean…what is it?
Simple.
I sucked at being really good at all the things I expected her to give to me.
This is a simple concept everywhere else in life.
- If you want good service, be a good customer.
- If you want a good friend, be a good friend.
- If you want to be paid well, be more valuable than others doing the same work.
Therefore, if we want stuff like respect, appreciation, connection, adoration, trust, honesty, intimacy and passion we must learn how to BE those things.
We’ve grown up past the playground point of, “Well I will if SHE will.”
You’re either consistently BEING that kind of person or you’re not.
And if you’re not being that kind of person for yourself first, then marriage will feel like you’re quarantined in a 24/7 shit show.
How would you like to change all that?
How would you like to be surrounded by hundreds of incredibly smart, amazing, successful men who are changing their reality on a daily basis?
This is not a time to curl up in the Netflix nest and wait this thing out.
This is a time to lean in to uncomfortable reality that nothing will change unless you learn how to change…for YOU.
And guess what?
It’s the most fun, energizing, mind blowing time a man can have. Well, if I’m honest, it’s pretty close anyway.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for her to make things better and start taking action on what you can control, here are some ways we can help you start leading things today…
$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage – if you need an instant change in how you’re thinking and what you’re feeling Dan and I created our most powerful short course covering the core foundational and fundamental concepts you’ll find hidden within every single self-help book, course or program you’ll ever buy.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why isn’t my wife making me happy anymore?
A: Because that’s not her job, brother. Happiness isn’t something you get—it’s something you bring. When you start being the calm, grounded, affectionate man you wish she’d be toward you, the energy in your relationship changes fast.
Q: How do I stop feeling unappreciated in my marriage?
A: Start appreciating yourself first. When you live from self-respect, your words and actions naturally earn appreciation from others. Stop waiting for validation and begin showing up like the man who already deserves it. That shift is magnetic.
Q: What does it mean to “be what you want to receive”?
A: It means if you want love, give love. If you want respect, live with integrity. You don’t get connection by demanding it—you create it by modeling it. This is mature masculine leadership in action.
Q: Why do I keep expecting my partner to fix how I feel?
A: Because it’s easier to outsource discomfort than face it. But no one can fix your unhappiness but you. The moment you take responsibility for your emotions, you become the kind of man who no longer needs rescuing.
Q: How can I bring more happiness into my marriage right now?
A: Lead with the energy you want to feel. Be light, curious, generous, and grounded. Stop monitoring her reactions. When you relax into your own peace, she can finally feel safe to reconnect with you.
Q: What’s the biggest mistake men make when they feel unloved?
A: They start acting like victims instead of leaders. Complaining, arguing, or withdrawing only deepens disconnection. The fix is paradoxical—love yourself harder, not her less. The man who creates his own peace becomes irresistible.
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