The Masculine Energy That Attracts Vs Pushing Away
Has your wife told you she’s no longer attracted to you?
Or has she complained about you being needy, whiny, unreliable or undecisive?
Do you ever convince yourself not to initiate intimacy because the fear of being rejected again is just too painful?
Do you ever feel like other men are more confident than you and get more sex?
I want to talk about being a WISHY-WASHY MAN.
They are more common than you think. I was one – and still am sometimes.
First, what does “wishy-washy” mean? Here are some of the words the dictionary uses to describe this trait:
Watery
Weak
Watered down
Thin
Tasteless
Flavorless
Feeble
Ineffectual
Spineless
Limp
Limp-wristed
Namby-pamby
Halfhearted
Spiritless
Indecisive
Wet
Pathetic
Weak-willed
Pale
Half-assed
In practical, every-day terms, the key traits of a wishy-washy man are:
- He is slow to answer questions and says “I don’t know” a LOT
- He feels sluggish in his mind and body and regrets not following through on things he wants
- He finds himself DEFENDING himself when pressured by others
- He doesn’t really have a f&*$ing opinion about anything
- He stews quietly in anger about his circumstances – mostly mad at himself
Any of those sound familiar?
A wishy-washy man is uninspiring to himself.
He has a lot of negative self-talk and beats himself up a lot.
He isn’t happy because he can HEAR HIMSELF speak and he doesn’t like what he hears.
Often, he knows his wife wants more from him. More leadership, more decisiveness and more confidence.
And it pisses him off that he just can’t seem to follow through.
In this video I give you more insight and offer you the first steps you can take to fix this.
This is a little “tough love” brother.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have men in my life who will challenge my excuses, my justifications and my fears.
They will call me on my bullshit when they see that my thinking is screwed up. And they do it with love and with my best interest in mind.
That’s why I’m bringing it up in this article for you. Maybe you don’t have anyone to challenge you to step up and out of your sluggishness.
Sometimes just having a mirror held up to your face makes a man flip a switch and start making changes immediately.
It’s absolutely amazing how fast a man can turnaround his sense of confidence, clarity, focus and happiness when he decides he is going to OWN his thoughts and his actions.
One of the biggest challenges for the wives and girlfriends of my clients is believing how fast a mental shift is made in their man. They want to believe it, but they don’t trust it. (as in, why couldn’t you do this years ago?!)
But, it is real. And it’s permanent.
It’s an immediate switch from wishy-washy to confident, clear and accountable. It’s almost too good to be true.
This is what we promise when you to join one of our coaching programs or retreats – go here to find out more about those.
Promise? Really? How can we promise that?
Because it’s actually a VERY SMALL shift in your perspective that’s needed to cause an exponential shift in your results.
When you change your core THOUGHTS, you will change your core EMOTIONS, which will change your ACTIONS.
It’s that simple.
We don’t do chest thumping, war painting, Kumbuya courses and retreats. I would suck at running those.
Our programs and retreats are for everyday men who are ready to show up powerfully to support each other in the process of becoming confident men who create the life they want.
They don’t settle and they don’t hide. They create.
What about you?
Do you want in?
$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage – if you need an instant change in how you’re thinking and what you’re feeling Dan and I created our most powerful short course covering the core foundational and fundamental concepts you’ll find hidden within every single self-help book, course or program you’ll ever buy.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why does my wife say she’s not attracted to me anymore?
A: Because attraction isn’t just about looks — it’s about energy. When you hesitate, doubt yourself, or avoid leading, she feels it. Confidence, decisiveness, and self-trust are magnetic. Start leading your life again, and the spark follows.
Q: How do I stop being indecisive and wishy-washy?
A: Make a choice — any choice — and own it. Confidence doesn’t come from always being right; it comes from acting with conviction. Every time you stop second-guessing yourself, your masculine energy strengthens, and people begin responding differently to you.
Q: Why do I keep defending myself instead of standing firm?
A: Because you’re chasing approval instead of honoring your truth. The moment you stop trying to prove your worth, your tone changes. You speak less, stand taller, and your boundaries start teaching others how to treat you.
Q: Can I really turn things around quickly once I change my mindset?
A: Yes — and most men are shocked by how fast it happens. The instant you shift from self-doubt to self-ownership, everything changes: your posture, tone, presence, and even how she looks at you. Clarity is contagious.
Q: What’s the first step to rebuilding confidence in myself?
A: Start keeping small promises to yourself. Follow through on workouts, conversations, and boundaries. When your actions align with your word, your inner voice changes from “I can’t” to “I’ve got this.” That’s the foundation of masculine confidence.
Q: Why do I feel angry and stuck instead of powerful?
A: Because you’re living in regret instead of direction. Anger is energy with nowhere to go. Channel it into purpose — set one clear goal and move toward it today. Power isn’t loud or dramatic; it’s focused and consistent.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
