How To Stop The Pain From Your Marriage Imploding
Today I want to talk to you about the power of knowing the truth.
Your MIND can play tricks on you when you believe things are true that simply aren’t.
Think about a police car screaming up behind you with lights and siren blaring and then passing you to chase someone else.
You go from “Oh shit!” to “Oh good!” in one second.
Think about a guy in the airport rudely bumping into you and then you see he’s blind.
You go from “You S.O.B!” to “You poor guy!” in an instant.
This same MIND SWITCH is crucial if you’re facing a possible separation or divorce.
A recent comment from a client in my Facebook community explained it beautifully.
“It feels so liberating when you are able to let a person leave your life and not turn her decision into a judgement of shame about yourself, and be able to continue living your life unconditionally and fully in your own lane, and gradually without anger and hurt…but peace in the knowledge that you are enough, you will be fine, and happiness is always just a thought away.”
1. You are enough.
2. You will be fine.
3. Your happiness is always just a thought away.
The road to healthy self-reliance and outcome independence requires you to achieve these 3 critical mind shifts.
I talk more about these 3 important truths in this video.
Most men who are confronted with the threat of losing their marriage and family unit are immediately gripped with fear, confusion and anxiety.
They think the wrong thoughts which makes for really bad decisions.
This includes over-reactions and totally ineffective “solutions”. They fight, argue, negotiate, beg and control everything they can.
But the most effective THOUGHT to start with is, “I’m not gonna die.”
That’s the truth. You’re okay and you’ll be okay.
This is an impossible journey to weather alone. This is why we’ve created communities of amazing men to support, encourage and teach you how to keep your head straight.
Joining a brotherhood of men who knows EXACTLY what you’re going through is crucial.
Then, building your emotional strength, confidence and self-respect will help you to think straight and take actions that are actually effective.
There’s one more truth I’ve discovered.
Men need other men. It’s the only way to make the crucial mind switches we need to make, stay on track and confidently create the life we really want.
If you want to feel more connection, emotional strength, confidence and self-respect than at any other time in your life I have four invitations for you.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: How do I stop my mind from spinning after my wife says she wants space or divorce?
A: You start by telling yourself the truth: You’re not going to die. Your fear creates stories that aren’t real. When you slow down, breathe, and face what’s actually happening—not what you’re imagining—you regain calm, strength, and clarity.
Q: What does “You are enough” really mean for men going through separation?
A: It means your worth doesn’t depend on her approval, her affection, or her decision to stay. You were enough before the marriage, and you’ll still be enough after. When you know that deeply, her behavior stops controlling your peace.
Q: How can I find peace when my relationship is falling apart?
A: Peace starts with perspective. Every painful moment is asking you to see something true about yourself. Instead of fighting to change her, learn to lead your own mind. Happiness isn’t gone—it’s just one thought away.
Q: Why do I keep making bad decisions when I’m emotional?
A: Because fear hijacks logic. When panic takes over, you react instead of lead. The fix isn’t more control—it’s calmer thinking. Confidence comes when you slow down and respond from truth, not anxiety.
Q: How can I stop depending on my wife for emotional stability?
A: By building your own. Outcome independence doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you stop collapsing. You become emotionally self-reliant when you know who you are, what you stand for, and how to create calm within yourself first.
Q: Why do men need other men during divorce or separation?
A: Because isolation kills growth. You can’t see your blind spots alone. Other men help you see clearly, stay grounded, and remind you of your worth when your mind forgets. Brotherhood is how men rebuild confidence and purpose after loss.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
