The Men Who Get What They Want Have This Figured Out
There’s a woo-woo Buddhist rule (The Second Noble Truth as they call it) that says:
All Suffering is the Result of Desire for Pleasure, Material Goods, and Immortality.
What the hell does that mean? And what are you supposed to do with this information?
I’ll break it down for you in plain language that any guy can understand.
At the end of the day our suffering is all about desiring something from a place of scarcity and emptiness VS. desiring something from a place of abundance and fullness.
Still too woo-woo maybe.
Another way to say exactly what I mean is:
Once you become a man who feels okay about himself, his value, his dreams and his mission…you will stop suffering.
I don’t mean being full of yourself. I mean being full within yourself.
When it comes to relationship suffering, I know exactly where it hurts.
The deep yearning for connection – for touch – for appreciation – for acknowledgement and for sexual pleasure is normal and healthy.
I want those things too – as long as I can remember. And I SUFFERED a long time waiting and wondering why I felt so unsatisfied, nervous, frustrated and angry.
It was my internal sense of unworthiness and emptiness that made me suffer – not the people who refused to “make me happy”.
I explain more in this video.
The secret to ending suffering is realizing that we can never get enough of what we don’t really need to be happy.
When a man finally figures this out, his energy changes. He focuses on improving himself, his attitude, his mission and his mojo.
He is already full – already happy. Not “suffering” in the least.
He doesn’t wish he had more – he is determined to simply BE BETTER.
Guess what?
That’s the guy who ends up getting what he wants. What he desires finds him – he doesn’t need to go searching for it.
I know – I’m getting woo-woo again.
Bottom Line
When you stop frantically pursuing the objects of your desire and learn how they are attracted, it’s a helluva lot LESS WORK.
This is what we teach men through our Goodguys2Greatmen coaching programs.
Below are some options for you to get started right away…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: What does “all suffering comes from desire” actually mean for men in relationships?
A: It means your pain doesn’t come from what you want—it comes from the belief that you’re empty without it. When you chase connection, sex, or validation from a place of lack, you suffer. When you already feel full within yourself, you attract what you want naturally.
Q: Why do I feel so frustrated and unfulfilled in my marriage even though I’m doing everything right?
A: Because your efforts are driven by a need to get something—love, appreciation, touch—rather than a desire to give from wholeness. You’re trying to fill an emotional void with her reactions. The truth is, your peace starts when you stop needing her to complete you.
Q: How do I stop suffering from unmet desires or rejection?
A: By becoming a man who’s already full. Focus on your mission, your values, your self-respect. When your sense of worth isn’t dependent on her mood or attention, the neediness fades. That’s when your energy changes—and ironically, that’s when connection and attraction return.
Q: What’s the difference between healthy desire and suffering from desire?
A: Healthy desire comes from fullness—it’s wanting more of what’s already good. Suffering comes from emptiness—it’s trying to fix yourself through others. When you feel abundant inside, you pursue goals, relationships, and pleasure without attachment. That’s masculine freedom.
Q: How can I start feeling full and confident within myself again?
A: Stop chasing outcomes and start mastering your mindset. Hang around men who are doing this work—men who lead from peace, not panic. Our coaching programs teach you how to rebuild your confidence, purpose, and mojo so you can stop suffering and start leading again.
Q: Why do things start working better when I stop trying so hard?
A: Because attraction responds to grounded energy, not desperation. When you stop chasing what you think you need to be happy, you become the kind of man who already has it. Peace, respect, intimacy—they find you when you stop trying to force them. That’s real masculine power.
Author 
Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
