The Ineffective Way Men Try To Get The Love Intimacy And Affection They Want
Have you ever had one of these thoughts?
- After all I’ve done she could show more appreciation.
- All I do is give, give, give and I never seem to get anything in return.
- No matter what I do she simply refuses to lower her guard and drop down the walls she’s built around her heart!
If you’re a married man somewhere between 27 and 77, I’m guessing at some point you’ve thought (or said out loud) all of those things.
I spend 8 minutes in the video below explaining why this is the number one reason men don’t get the love, intimacy, appreciation and respect they want.
I also give you some ideas on how to turn this around.
It’s simple, but not easy.
She already has a story about how you are…about the ways you go about trying to get her to give you what you want.
There’s only one way to stop the game of “giving to get” and stop living from “the kiddie pool” of masculinity. This is a shallow place of anxiety, fear and expectation. I know this place well…I used to spend a lot of time there.
In this video, I explain how to come from another place of fullness. This is a place where you GIVE because you’re overflowing with confident, self-affirming masculine energy. You give because you know you can’t run out.
You give without giving a shit about what comes back.
This is a mindset of crystal clear personal value and abundance. Pure Mountain Lion…zero Hummingbird!
How Men are Still Being Taught to Play in the Kiddie Pool
In the video, I talk about this sleazy trend I’m seeing by email marketers. They all seem to be going to the same sleazy school that teaches them to play games to get business.
They play a shallow game of trying to tease you to ask them to show you how good they are at copywriting. The give absolutely nothing of value.
They talk about why I need to call them. They talk about how smart they are and how much they could do for me. Then they email 3 more times wondering why I’m not responding.
And that’s all they do. They TALK about what they could give me instead of just simply giving it to me.
I used to do this too. I thought I could TALK about all the great stuff I was doing or could do. I would “be nice” and “do nice things” and then get angry that I got nothing in return.
Nobody ever taught me HOW TO GIVE pure, unconditional, high value love, affection, appreciation and respect.
Nobody ever taught me that actually DEMONSTRATING those things…without attachment and without expectation…was the simple path to getting them back in spades.
Are you ready to learn this stuff before another decade passes?
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What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Q: Why do I still feel stuck after doing so much self-improvement work?
A: Because growth isn’t about stacking more work—it’s about slowing down. The harder you try to “fix” yourself, the more you reinforce the lie that you’re broken. Real progress begins when you pause, breathe, and realize you’re actually okay right now.
Q: How do I stop overthinking my personal growth?
A: Stop turning growth into a performance. You don’t need another book, another hack, or another deep-breathing app. What you need is stillness—time to hear your own grounded wisdom again. Calm clarity beats mental gymnastics every time.
Q: What does it mean to ‘do nothing’ and still grow?
A: Doing nothing doesn’t mean giving up. It means dropping the frantic self-improvement hustle long enough to let truth surface. In that quiet space, courage and insight finally find you. That’s when change sticks.
Q: Why does trying to control outcomes make me feel worse?
A: Because control is the illusion that keeps you anxious. You can’t script love, respect, or timing. But you can control your energy, your honesty, and your next breath. Peace starts where control ends.
Q: How do I know when to stop “working on myself”?
A: When “self-work” feels like punishment instead of curiosity. When every day becomes another test to pass. That’s your cue to drop the tools and rest. A man who knows he’s enough already learns faster anyway.
Q: What’s the real secret to feeling calm and confident again?
A: Grace. Humor. Patience. The moment you stop grinding for self-approval, you reconnect with the confident man who’s been here all along. He doesn’t need to prove his worth—he just needs to remember it.
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