How to Rebuild Attraction With Your Wife
Providing support to men who want to rebuild attraction with their wife. Advice to help you be confident in yourself & create the relationship you really want.
A common question of the lonely husbands is “How can I rekindle her desire for me?” Spoiler alert: There’s a different question you should be asking first.
Knowing The Right Question
There’s a “chicken and the egg” situation I want to address right here…right now.
And this is crucial to HOW YOU THINK about getting what you want in life and relationships.
How you think about everything is the only control you have and all you will ever need.
Why?
Because the moment you change the way you think about the things happening in your life…those very things will start changing in front of your eyes.
I’m in the business of helping men CHANGE THEIR PERSPECTIVE about what it means to be a man. I teach them HOW TO THINK differently.
What causes us to become needy, dependent and afraid in relationships?
What is the true source of confidence, clarity and well-being if it’s not in the warm, accepting arms of a woman?
I ask men to tell me what they MOST WANT in the next 6 months. What’s the most important question they need answered?
The #1 Most Popular Question I Get From Men.
“How can I get my wife/girlfriend to like me/love me/pay attention to me/give me affection/desire me/touch me/have sex with me again?”
And then I ask them what they see as their biggest barrier to getting what they want.
The 2nd Most Popular Question I Get From Men.
“How can I find the confidence/strength/self-esteem/courage to be the man I know I can be?”
You see the problem already, don’t you? (my readers are incredibly smart, intuitive people…I know this)
Those two questions need to be flip-flopped.
Other articles you may find helpful:
How To Create Attraction In Your WifeHave More Sex by Owning Your Sexual Needs with Alison Armstrong
There is no mystery about which comes first – confidence or attractiveness.
We must FOCUS on the real problem and make it our top priority.
Your sense of confidence/strength/self-esteem/courage precedes every positive thing you want to create.
And, obviously, if you have the OPPOSITE of those things…you will create nothing you want.
I talk about this more in this video.
How to Get the Happy, Sexual Relationship You Want
Rebuild Attraction With Confidence
Self-help is a popular route to gaining confidence. Sometimes it’s quite effective.
However, you can overdose on self-help when it becomes a search for INFORMATION…TIPS…HACKS…OR TRICKS.
There is NO QUICK FIX to learning true confidence. It takes conscious action and application to real-world situations.
More related articles for you:
How To Help Your Wife Want Sex AgainMy Wife Has Disconnected From Our Marriage
Consistency is key to learning a new habit and creating new patterns in your behavior.
When I wrote my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband, I purposely put in all kinds of examples of situations, dialog, conversations and case studies to help you TAKE ACTION.
I know it’s ACTION that will cause the shift you need in your thinking and your confidence. And when this happens, I get an email like this:
“I know this sounds maybe funny to some, but it is just so damn easy living with this sense of calm, knowing that it is just a movie, an exciting, thrilling virtual reality. If you want passion, it’s yours, if you want love, right there it is, if you want adventure, bang …you can have it. What is also really exciting is the realization that if you want pain, hate, guilt, sadness, loneliness, those too are simply choices that you can make to acquire those things.” (Matt – 2/2018)
Self-help CAN BE quite effective when you know how to turn the information into action.
Get the book by going HERE. The Kindle version is only $7.99. (available now in paperback too)
Another Way To Learn Confidence Quickly
Gaining confidence is MUCH easier with other high-quality men in your life who believe in you perhaps more than you believe in yourself at the moment.
I want to invite you to join some incredibly amazing men who have walked in your shoes – or are walking in them now.
The GG2GM Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable starting on is the perfect place for you to get the support, insight, encouragement and coaching you need.
Members of this tribe include me, my colleague Coach Dan Dore and our certified coaches who are there to help you find your feet again.
The membership is a monthly cost of $69 which you can cancel anytime you want.
When you become a member of this Roundtable, you will get:
- Membership into a private tribe of brothers who care about you
- Access to THREE LIVE COACHING CALLS EACH MONTH my colleague, Dan Dore and I and other GG2GM coaches.
- A password to a private web page with all the session recordings (past two years as well!), reading resources, personal challenge
- assignments and a running list of frequently asked questions with our written answers.
- Membership into an exclusive and secret Facebook community with just Roundtable members. More support is provided here.
- Exclusive access to our team of coaches who are available to talk with you privately when you need it.
Click THIS LINK and scroll to the bottom and sign up.
I promise you that this group of 300+ men will welcome you with open arms.
Q: How can I rekindle my wife’s desire for me when she seems totally uninterested?
A: You start by flipping the question. Attraction doesn’t come first — confidence does. When you stop chasing her reactions and start rebuilding your own clarity, strength, and self-esteem, you become a man she can feel attracted to again. Confidence precedes connection. Always.
Q: Why do I feel so needy, insecure, and dependent on her affection?
A: Because you’ve tied your worth to her approval. That creates fear, pressure, and neediness — the exact opposite of attraction. When you anchor your well-being inside yourself, you stop needing her energy and start offering yours. That shift alone can transform the relationship.
Q: What’s the real barrier to rebuilding attraction in my marriage?
A: It’s not her mood, her stress, or even her resentment. It’s your lack of internal clarity. You can’t create intimacy from fear or confusion. You need emotional fitness — the ability to stay grounded, calm, and intentional regardless of her behavior. That’s what moves a relationship forward.
Q: Can self-help books and videos actually help me get confidence back?
A: They can — if you act on them. Information without action becomes another way to hide. Confidence doesn’t grow from reading; it grows from doing. Real-world practice, hard conversations, new behaviors, and consistent follow-through are what create genuine confidence.
Q: How do I become the kind of man who creates passion and connection again?
A: By focusing on who you’re being, not what you’re doing. Calm. Deliberate. Unapologetically masculine. When you stop trying to engineer outcomes and start embodying clarity and strength, you naturally create an environment where desire, affection, and intimacy return.
Q: Why is joining a men’s group so helpful when I’m trying to rebuild my marriage?
A: Because confidence grows fastest when you’re surrounded by strong, supportive men who expect you to rise. They help you see blind spots, stay accountable, and take action when you’d normally freeze. It’s easier to rebuild attraction when you’re not trying to rebuild yourself alone.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
