don't feel loved
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I Don’t Feel Loved Or Wanted In My Marriage

Are you struggling with a sense that you don’t feel loved in your marriage? Do you want more fun, more laughter, more togetherness and passion in your relationship?

There’s a common misconception that plagues many marriages around how to get more of what you want in your relationship.

A relationship reaches stalemate when both parties sit waiting for the other to do something. When the true man comes out, he gives his high regard and love without expectations. He gets more love from his wife by BEING bold, shameless and vulnerable with the love he gives.  A husband who thinks his WIFE needs to be something before he can HAVE something will never get what he wants. This article is a little different. I want to share how abundantly love has come back to me as a result of putting love out there! I can assure you what you put out will come back.

I was in a goofy mood when I sat down to write this.

Warning: In the video I talk about sending away “box tops” and such and you may think I’m an alien if you’re under 50.

Anyway, I’ve been getting really cool stuff in the mail lately.

I mean personal stuff wrapped in packages by other people.

Not Amazon boxes. Personal packages. Brown paper, tape and magic marker type packages!

I get a warm feeling knowing other people would take the time to send me stuff.

Old fashioned? Maybe. But it feels good.

In the old days you would have to cut out a form from a magazine or off a cereal box and send away for stuff. And then they would send stuff back!

I feel a little guilty I didn’t send away anything to earn the stuff people sent me.

And when I got this cool West Ham United football (soccer) cap from a friend in England yesterday, it made me want to talk more about that. (and I promised him I would wear it on a video)

So, I did. Watch the video below,

What Are You Sending Out Into Your Life & Relationships?

Giving and Getting

I think there’s a broader message here.

We talk about it all the time in our private Facebook groups.

Whenever someone says, “I’m not getting enough!”, we always ask, “What have you been giving?”

Most men in a struggling relationship can agree on a few things they want MORE of.

They want more appreciation. More affection. More passion. More fun. More respect. More connection. More trust.

That’s the stuff that makes relationships really worthwhile.

But one thing I’ve learned to be an important – and probably ancient – TRUTH is this:

We Can Only Receive What We Want To The Extent That We Are Giving It

If you’re anything like me, you might be a DOER.

A DOER does things. And he thinks that by “doing” things he will get want he wants in return.

He goes to work, makes money, fixes cars, mows the lawn and DOES just about anything he needs to in order to GET what he wants.

But that stuff isn’t a “fair trade” for more appreciation, affection, passion and fun!

The only way to create more of that stuff in a relationship is to be cool, calm and consistent in giving that stuff.

Men Who Are Generous With Love Get More Love

So, the question becomes, “What are you giving away lately?”

I know. It’s a weird conundrum.

Sometimes the last thing you want to do is give more when you feel starved for the things you want most. The key is learning how to be OUTCOME INDEPENDENT and why it’s the liberating secret sauce to your daily sense of happiness. More love comes back when more love goes out. It’s the hallmark of every happy, secure, mature, masculine man.

Want to learn more? We would love for you to join us in making the transformation!

Do you want a consultation with a professional coach who can teach you this in person? Then go HERE.

Do you want to learn these skills in a private video coaching course and connect with a private group of men facing similar marriage struggles 24/7? Then you will want our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb

Or do you want join an incredible group of men who meet three times a month in the GG2GM Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where you get 24/7 private Facebook support?

Your choice. But be sure to make some choice.

Q: How do I feel loved again when my wife seems distant or uninterested?

A: You stop waiting and start giving. Emotional stalemate happens when both partners wait for the other to move first. A man who leads with bold, shameless, outcome-independent love creates the conditions for connection to grow. When you put love out, you create space for love to return.

Q: Why doesn’t doing more chores, fixing things, or providing financially make my wife more affectionate?

A: Because those things don’t translate emotionally. You can’t “do” your way into passion, respect, or connection. Those come from your energy, not your effort. She responds to your presence, your leadership, your vulnerability—not your task list. Love is received to the extent it’s given, not earned through work.

Q: How does giving more love help me when I feel starved for it?

A: Giving love without needing a specific response is the definition of masculine emotional leadership. It shifts the energy from fear to generosity. When you stop keeping score and start living from abundance, you feel more grounded—and she feels safer, which often sparks the connection you’ve been missing.

Q: What does “outcome independence” actually mean in a marriage?

A: It means you offer affection, appreciation, humor, warmth, and connection because that’s who you choose to be—not because you’re hoping she’ll reward you. Outcome independence frees you from emotional bargaining. It turns you back into the man who’s attractive because he loves boldly, not conditionally.

Q: Why does giving love feel risky when I’m not getting love back?

A: Because you’ve tied your happiness to her behavior. When you lead from insecurity, generosity feels dangerous. But when you give from a secure place—calm, self-respecting, grounded—you regain control of your emotional life. Love given freely is never weakness. It’s strength. It’s maturity. It’s leadership.

Q: What should I actually start giving more of if I want a better marriage?

A: More appreciation. More curiosity. More warmth. More laughter. More bold affection. More vulnerability. More “I see you” moments. These are the currencies of intimacy. The more you give from a relaxed, authentic place, the more you naturally receive in return. It’s how great relationships are built.

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Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.

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