6 Counter-Intuitive Ways Men Saved Their Marriage
Are you a man who wants to IMMEDIATLY IMPROVE his relationship? In this article I explain six counter-intuitive ways men have saved their marriage – and I see this happen over and over again.
Most men refuse to even try the advice in this article… Because it sounds… well… stupid. Even though it sounds stupid, the proof is in the pudding.
A man operating from fear will say:
“If I follow this stupid advice, I’ll be giving her exactly what she wants and THAT is to be rid of me! She will only move farther away!”
So he keeps doing what he’s been doing with zero results.
More pursuit. More pressure.
More avoidance. More distance.
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More anger. More resentment.
In a few weeks I’ll hear back from these guys asking for another call.
When I get them to breathe, slow down and listen I will then explain WHY the “stupid advice” is so important.
6 Counter-Intuitive Ways Men Have Saved Their Marriage
The process is simple
It’s based in the counter-intuitive principle of LESS is MORE.
Step 1: Ask fewer questions about your relationship and her feelings
Step 2: Make fewer attempts to make her physically connect with you
Step 3: Stop talking so much about how bad you feel and what you need
Step 4: Stop talking so much about stuff you’re reading about marriage
Step 5: Stop giving so many f*cks about what she is thinking, who she is talking to, why she’s so unhappy and what you need to do to make her like you
Step 6: Spend less time alone and wallowing in your own anxiety and urgency to fix everything now.
The reason this 6-step process has an immediate beneficial effect on your relationship is because it immediately reduces the PRESSURE.
Emotional neediness, interrogations, expectations and urgency to soothe your fears are all forms of PRESSURE.
Pressure is immediately repulsive, scary and unattractive.
Pressure is how you got to this point to start with.
A Man Who Creates The OPPOSITE Of Pressure will IMMEDIATLY IMPROVE His Relationship.
An important part of creating the opposite of pressure is spending more productive, healthy and growth oriented time with yourself.
Men who begin to take care of their own emotional and intellectual needs are immediately more attractive and trustable.
Men who take care of their own sense of confidence and well-being are immediately more emotionally safe for women.
This post was made yesterday in our secret Facebook group where men like this hang out. (this is word for word)
“Hey Brothers. Been a while since I posted and just wanted to check in. Things still going well between my wife and I. I’m totally outcome independent now and don’t feel any impatience. She senses this and is chattier than ever – laughing and sharing with me daily. Still a long, long way to go for us both, but I feel….content and in charge of my life again. Thanks to all of you and for the course – It gave me so much guidance through this uncharted territory. Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything guys.”
These kinds of posts warm my heart.
He has taken charge of himself and his responses to her.
He has taken ownership of his own patience and contentment.
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And he feels confident enough to help other men who are still trying to figure out the process!
A man who takes action for himself is a man who can IMMEDIATLY IMPROVE his relationship. He realizes operating from fear creates the opposite of what he wants. Start using the 6 counter-intuitive behaviors from this article to get counter-intuitive results in your marriage!
The How To Defuse The Divorce Bomb Course Is Where We Teach the Process.
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If you don’t have a brotherhood available to you at this moment, this is your tribe. This is where you get your emotional and intellectual needs met. This is where you will be seen, heard and understood like you never have before.
WARNING: Coach Tim Wade and I go DEEP, DARK AND FUNNY in this course and expose you to certain truths about men, women, love and sex that your dad never told you. Your thinking will be challenged. You will be challenged to stop bad habits and adopt new ones that may feel strange.
And it’s guaranteed. So there’s that. It’s a no-brainer.
Click HERE to go to the information page and watch 4 sample videos from Modules 1 through 4 straight from the course.
And don’t forget to read the FAQ’s at the bottom. I bet you have at least one of those questions right now.
Q: Why do the “six counter-intuitive steps” actually work to improve a marriage?
A: Because they reduce pressure. When you stop interrogating, chasing, explaining, and emotionally dumping, you create space. Pressure is repulsive—relief is attractive. These six steps immediately shift you from fear-based behavior to calm leadership, and women instantly feel safer around that energy.
Q: How do I stop myself from pursuing or pressuring my wife when I’m scared of losing her?
A: You slow down and take care of your own emotional needs first. Fear makes you talk too much, ask too much, and push too hard. Confidence comes from grounding yourself, not managing her. When you regulate you, the urge to chase fades—and so does the pressure she feels.
Q: What does “less is more” actually mean for a struggling marriage?
A: It means fewer questions, less emotional neediness, less fixing, less analyzing, and less urgency. When you stop over-engaging the relationship and start engaging your own life, the dynamic softens. Attraction grows in low-pressure environments. Calm creates connection; panic destroys it.
Q: What is outcome independence, and why does it make my wife respond better?
A: Outcome independence is the mindset of “I’m OK no matter what happens.” When you’re no longer clinging to her reaction or her timelines, you stop radiating fear. Women relax around a man who is calm, grounded, self-directed, and not dependent on their emotional weather to feel whole.
Q: How do I become more confident and self-respecting when everything feels like it’s falling apart?
A: Confidence comes from taking action for yourself—not for her. Spend time with other men, move your body, learn, grow, and invest in your emotional health. The more you take responsibility for your stability, the more attractive and trustable you become. Confidence is built, not granted.
Q: Can men really save their marriage by doing “less”—or is that just false hope?
A: It’s not false hope. We see it every day. When a man stops applying pressure and starts leading himself, the whole relationship shifts. Connection improves. Conversations soften. She becomes lighter and more open. You can’t force love—but you can remove the behaviors that suffocate it.
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