10 Signs Your Marriage is in Big Trouble
I’m usually skeptical of “lists” that promise to give you the secret to anything.
They lack depth and explanation and aren’t immediately useful – just “click bait” to make you open the damn article.
Not so with the list in this video. In fact, there’s about 50 MINUTES of clear explanation with this list.
Two weeks ago I promised to share an interview with a “rock star couples coach”. I’m here to deliver.
Bruce Muzik has been helping couples create a more connected, secure, happy and intimate life together for many years. He’s accumulated a wealth of insight and wisdom and I love his depth and the confidence with which he delivers it!
Other articles you may find helpful:
How To Become Fascinating To Your Wife AgainMy Wife Doesn’t Love Me – How Can I Fix This?
In this video we discuss:
- Insecure attachment and how it looks, sounds, feels and smells in your relationship
- The 3-Legged Race of Interdependence in a healthy relationship
- How your attachment style is screwing up your sex life
- Why “communication” is NOT the main issue in any relationship
- How to start creating better CONNECTION and stop the madness
There is so much content in this video I’m not going to type it all out in this article. Just watch it.
And if you want to hear the 10 Signs first – go to the 34:35 mark on the video…then start from the beginning.
I often coach men in the subtle art of just shutting the f*ck up.
This is right in line with Bruce’s point about needing to CONNECT more than needing to COMMUNICATE.
Most men I work with are brilliant, articulate, strategic thinkers and problem solvers. They are experts at analysis, decision making and solution implementation.
What happens when they try to bring these skills into a “relationship talk” with their woman?
Shit show…that’s what.
Why?
Because “communicating” and “problem solving” are not required to fix a relationship.
In fact, the more we try to manipulate or orchestrate an outcome – to FIX things – the more we create DISCONNECTION.
This is why I teach you to shut the f*ck up with all your brilliance. (this was my biggest hurdle, by the way)
What do you do instead?
You learn how to BE instead of always trying to DO.
You learn how connection is created with a woman and what positive, safe and attractive masculinity really looks like.
And guess what?
It’s a WHOLE LOT LESS WORK than what you’ve been trying.
Clients tell me how liberating it feels to be free from fixing things and finally free to just be quiet, aware, confident, present and connected.
A guy can’t do this if he’s disconnected from himself and his own calm sense of strength and quiet self-satisfaction.
My purpose is to create ARMIES of dudes like that – one man at a time.
If you want to move from distance and avoidance to connection and healthy interdependence in your relationship, we would love to help you get clear on your next decision or action to take to start CREATING that life that you truly want and know you WILL have.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
Books, articles and videos are great but to really make quick progress and get to a point where you’re consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic about life again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make. This is the truth that I want you to LEARN – this is the thing I had to learn first before I could grow in this way – you need other men to do this work!!
Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.
Come and try our coaching through our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.
If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
Q: Why does communication with my wife always turn into a disaster, even when I’m trying to fix things?
A: Because trying to fix the relationship is the problem. Logic, analysis, and “solutions” create disconnection. Connection—not communication—is what heals relationships. When you slow down, shut the f*ck up, breathe, and be with her instead of managing her, everything shifts.
Q: What does insecure attachment look like in a relationship—and could it be sabotaging my intimacy?
A: Yes. Insecure attachment shows up as anxiety, withdrawal, defensiveness, over-communication, or trying too hard to control outcomes. It’s not about your partner being “difficult.” It’s about your nervous system being in panic mode. Bruce Muzik’s work nails this: your attachment style directly affects your sex life, connection, and conflict patterns.
Q: Why do all my “relationship talks” end with her upset and me frustrated?
A: Because you’re communicating from fear, not connection. You’re trying to steer the conversation, manage emotions, or force clarity. She feels that as pressure. Real connection comes from presence—quiet, grounded, steady energy—not from brilliant problem-solving.
Q: How do I become more connected, calm, and attractive without working so hard?
A: You stop doing and start being. Being relaxed, aware, curious, and grounded is far easier than trying to control the outcome of every conversation. When you lead with presence instead of performance, your natural masculine energy returns—and she feels it instantly.
Q: Why do experts say “communication isn’t the real issue” in relationships?
A: Because communication problems are symptoms. The real issue is disconnection. If your attachment system is activated, if you don’t feel safe, or if you’re trying to avoid emotional pain, communication collapses. Fix the connection—your presence, your nervous system, your tone—and the words take care of themselves.
Q: How do I create deeper connection and healthier interdependence with my wife?
A: You start with yourself. You reconnect to your own calm strength, your own emotional presence, and your own grounded identity. When you’re solid, she feels safe. When she feels safe, she softens. That’s the 3-Legged Race Bruce Muzik talks about: two sovereign humans walking together—not clinging, not avoiding, but connecting.
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Have questions about your relationship?
Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.
